Fry Hard

The address was Cornmarket Street, but in my three years in Oxford I had never seen a pub there.

McDonald’s, yes, even a Starbuck’s, but not a traditional pub. Not on Cornmarket Street.

I thought I might have been given the wrong address for the Crown Pub, but there it was, tucked down a quiet alley away from the chaos of shoppers.

Blue fairy lights led the way to a heated courtyard lit with candles. The sturdy tables and chairs would be ideal for a sunny afternoon.

The exterior of the pub is traditional white-washed lime with dark wooden beams. Flowers and greenery drape from window boxes outside the first floor windows. Carefully shaped bay trees bring a holiday feel to the courtyard, looking like miniature Christmas trees. Inside, highly polished dark wood dominates, accented by gilded frames, mirrors and glass covered lanterns suspended from the walls and ceiling.

The clientele were middle-class denizens who looked like they’d stopped by for a rest on their way home from work. Which was exactly why I was there, and hungry and thirsty I was led panting to the bar.

The Crown has a good selection of beers on tap, everything from locals like Brakspear’s Oxford Gold and Old Hooky to the more exotic Jaipur Thornbridge. The thing is – I don’t drink beer. I can smell it. I can taste it. I can appreciate it, I just can’t drink it.

So I had a glance at the wine list. There was an attractive selection. They listed two bottles of Bordeaux on the bottle menu. If the St Emillion is a 2005, then it’s a steal at their price of £22.

Since I wasn’t going to be ordering a bottle, I decided to go with the Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc. Everyone is probably familiar with Oyster Bay. You’ve seen it in the corner shops but I’d never seen it in a pub.

As I was sipping my wine I got in a chat with Dave Crook, the new general manager of this city centre pub. “We’re very pleased with the new look of the Crown,” he says. “And we hope to attract more women.” That explains the pink Gerber Daisies on all the tables then.

So what benchmark is The Crown aiming for? “Something like All Bar One, with cocktails, wine and food. Not scare them away like some dark old pubs can.” Hmm, really pushing the culinary boat out then...

I mentioned I would like a bite to eat. A mixed platter was suggested which sounded good. After all, sometimes in pubs, it’s easy to get tempted into ordering dishes which force you to eat more than you really want to. Plus, steak and kidney pie is tough to share.

The platter then looked impressive when it arrived, until I noticed that everything except the chicken sausage kebab and new potatoes were deep fried. Fried mushrooms, fried onion rings, deep fried tasting Yorkshire pudding and even deep fried breaded brie. Frankly, speaking as one of the fairer sex, I don’t think this kind of fare is going to be a hit with the women the pub is so eager to attract.

And as our original euphoria died off and The Crown began metamorphosising into every other city centre pub, we gathered our things and headed out. Shame.

So here is a summary of my thoughts on The Crown: It does feel like a traditional pub. The location is perfect – right in the centre of town. There’s a great selection of beer. The wine menu is pretty good, but the food was disappointing and utterly predictable.

* The Crown in Oxford, 59a Cornmarket Street, Oxford 01865 256047