ROAD rage and aggressive driving seem to feature heavily in motoring conversations. Hardly a week goes by without one of my friends mentioning some lunatic driver who rudely cut them up at Heyford Hill roundabout or tried to race them down the A34 (although that might be a fib as I find my average speed along the A34 tends to be about 23mph).

And it’s not just the actual driving that causes such consternation – it’s the language, gesticulations and general obnoxious behaviour that accompanies the mad motoring moves that makes my blood boil.

So the dilemma is this, girls – how are we supposed to respond to such outrageous rudeness? While many male drivers seem extremely well-versed in the appropriate hand signals and names to identify drivers who are not quite up to scratch, for a lot of girls it’s a very different story.

While discussing this very problem the other day with a group of girls – many of whom would beat any man at his own game when it comes to road rage name-calling and would gladly question the parentage of any bloke who dared to even attempt to pull a stupid move from behind the wheel – a friend came up with an excellent suggestion.

We need a range of signs that are impactful, truthful and appropriate. Good taste and decency forbid me from going into too much detail, but initial ideas included a simple sign with a suitable word used to describe a driver who is perhaps a little too attracted to my rear bumper, or who decides to cut in front of me at a roundabout. Maybe cardboard cutouts of various body parts could be attached to a lolly stick and displayed in the rear view?

I think my friend is on to a winner and the range should extend to a large red ‘X’ to suggest that sneakily stealing the parking space that I have been waiting patiently for at Bicester Village is simply not on – even if you are driving a 4x4.

So my lady driving friends, I believe this is the future. There would be no need for us to shout any unlady-like expletives and we could simply display our sign, blow a kiss to the perpetrator and get on with our day. No need to stoop to the levels of the low-life *******s who try and ruin my ******* day on a regular basis!