You know what? I’ll be there, next year, waving my Union Jack flag, sleeping out the night before, scrapping to get the best possible view.

I mean, why not?

Who gives a large, white urinal for those kill-joys who, since last week’s announcement, have just bitched and whined about how much it’s all going to cost.

After all, some people, those people, are never happy.

Yes, the world is a cruel, vile place and anything which suggests otherwise is obviously inappropriate.

But sadly, my empathy levels like my levels of testosterone sometimes just get a tad depleted.

So while clearly ignorant about how old-fashioned, parasitic and surplus-to-requirement the Royal Family is, I have to confess to finding last week’s announcement, well... genuinely cheering.

It’s just a shame Oxford isn’t being considered as a likely venue (despite the fact we’re only an hour away from Clarence House – or 90 minutes on the Oxford Tube).

And it’s not as if London needs all the extra excitement and commotion the Wedding of The Year will entail.

The Olympics is just around the corner, as is the final of X-Factor and Britain’s Got Talent. And for all we know, we may even get the World Cup.

So it stands to reason that with London’s over-burdened infrastructure already showing signs of infirmity, why not move the whole thing to say, The Randolph on Beaumont Street (at least for the reception) and Headington Hill Hall for the ceremony itself (Oxford Brookes University has, with great foresight, just applied for a licence).

One, it’ll shut up the doomsayers (let’s not mince words here – you can get some great Spring deals at Macdonald hotels, which own The Randolph, and especially for parties of 1,000 and more).

Two, if not Headington, why not really go for broke and choose one of the county’s many destination golf hotels? (Kate is, remember, an ‘outdoor’ type, and a pre-ceremony ‘eagle’ or ‘birdie might help calm her nerves).

And three, Oxford is used to royalty – in the last year alone, Shakira, rapper Tinie Tempah and Baywatch’s Pamela Anderson have all visited. So it’s not like we’re not used to dealing with the... idiosyncrasies of fame and fortune (Egyptian cotton sheets, hand-made bread, scented toilet paper).

But perhaps most importantly of all, if William and Kate did decide to hold their nuptials here, I could rent out a room or two in my flat to star-struck Americans, more used to Disney than royalty and thus desperate to touch base with some genuine monarch-next-door aristocracy.

Because let’s face it, in these hard economic times, I think it’s incumbent upon us all to try and reduce our national debt – if only by £2,000, including breakfast, for the weeks either side of the royal wedding.

So come on Sir, and your future Highness, give Oxford a look. You’re assured of a warm welcome.