Seven years ago, Tony Blair and the President of the World, oops sorry, I meant the USA, started a war amidst a web of lies and deceit.

They had to stop that nasty Bin Laden bloke from destroying Western culture (as we know it) and the evil Saddam had to be stopped from unleashing his weapons of mass destruction on all of us, which apparently he could have done in about 45 minutes.

As it happens, in the time it took us to flatten a whole country, all Saddam could do was find a hole to hide in without so much as letting off a firework.

As for Osama, he has managed to evade the collective military might and intelligence resources (I use that phrase loosely).

Just like when Communist forces lived in tunnels underneath the biggest American infantry base during the Vietnam War.

Forget the Government ‘spin’, the truth of the matter as we all know is a desire to control the world’s oil resources.

In that case then, I would like to know why are we still being mugged at the petrol pumps and why we’re now paying an extra 3p a litre?

Motorists are already paying an average of £1.16 per litre across the UK.

They can’t blame it on the price of crude oil either as that is currently $80 a barrel as opposed to the $147 a barrel it was in the summer of 2008, the last time that petrol was anywhere near £1.20 a litre.

It would appear that the Government that tricked many of us into trading our bangers for new cars in an effort to restart the motor industry which they messed up with their mismanagement of the economy, is going to turn them into expensive ornaments on the nation’s driveways because nobody will be able to afford to fill the things up.

The price hike will equate to roughly £52 per month for the average UK family.

Some very ‘clever’ analysts have said that increased refining costs and the weakening of sterling against the dollar – the currency in which oil is priced – is the reason for some of the massive increase in petrol prices. However, this just sounds like more lies from the same MPs that rake back the cost of their fuel from the pockets of the taxpayer along with the rest of their bogus expense claims.

Perhaps the Government could off-set the proposed increases with a tax on hot air, specifically in the House of Commons.

Either that or we could harness their verbal flatulence and use it as an alternative to fossil fuel.