This week is Dispute Resolution Week. Divorce or separation is traumatic and, for many people, bewildering.

As well as the emotional pain caused by the break-up there are suddenly many difficult, life-changing decisions to be made, not least of which is how you and your ex will separate.

Many people think that you have to go to court to get a divorce, a myth encouraged by the media’s focus on ‘taking him to the cleaners’ or ‘making sure she doesn’t get a penny’ when reporting on divorce cases.

The thought of a long-drawn out courtroom battle with your former partner is for many people a frightening prospect. As well as the emotional strain, there’s also the cost and the time it can take to resolve matters and the huge impact it can have on children.

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Most of the divorcing people we see at the free Family Matters service in Oxford just want to be able to quickly come to an agreement and find a solution that’s best for their family, so they can move on with their lives.

Thankfully, these days there are many different options people can choose when they’re divorcing or separating that don’t involve going to court.

These include methods such as mediation, which encourage you to sit down and talk with your former partner to decide how you will manage things like your finances, and arrangements for your children, with the support of a trained mediator.

There are also options such as the collaborative process, where each person has their own solicitor in the room with them, and arbitration, where an arbitrator will listen to both you and your former partner before making a decision, known as an ‘award.’ You can read more about these options in the free Resolution information guide Separating Together at resolution.org.uk/separatingtogether On Monday, Resolution launched Family Dispute Resolution Week, which highlights the alternatives to court and aims to show separating couples there is a better way to manage their divorce or separation.

Resolution has 87 members working in Oxfordshire, including family lawyers, mediators and therapists, and runs Family Matters in Oxford which helps separating families with free legal information and support.

As part of Family Dispute Resolution Week there will be a range of activities happening around the country. Resolution will also be releasing results of a survey of adults and young people that shows the true extent of the impact of divorce on British life, from education through to workplace productivity.

At Family Matters we see every day how the impact of divorce goes far beyond the couple.

A high-conflict, drawn-out separation causes immense emotional strain on families, particularly children, and has a knock-on impact that stretches to friends, work colleagues and others.

Many people don’t realise that Legal Aid is still available for family mediation, which can be hugely beneficial in helping people to separate in a way that minimises conflict.

We offer a free support service in Oxford for couples where just one of them is on benefits or earning less than the living wage, to help them understand their options and that there is a better way to separate. If you would like to find out more about this you can contact us for a chat on 01865 406038 or 01865 406009.

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