A letter to George

First published in News Oxford Mail: Static HTML image by

Dear Mr. Lucas (or can I call you George?) Isn’t it about time you stopped exploiting the humble Star Wars fan?

They’re a fragile and sensitive bunch who have given their lives to the Star Wars universe. You can’t even begin to imagine the number of hours they’ve squandered on the stitching of home made Tusken Raider cloaks, so proudly worn at conventions and whilst cutting the lawn. Not to mention the amount of money wasted on children’s toys that clutter the shelves of spare bedrooms and attics across the world, much to the chagrin of despairing partners and spouses. Are you even aware of how many marriages you’ve destroyed?

They need help George, perhaps even guidance in how to live a more mature and productive life What they don’t need is another cynical excuse to buy more shoddy merchandise, which let’s face it, is what the Clones Wars movie is all about.

You’re a rich man Mr. Lucas, a very rich man, isn’t it time you gave something back? You could open a home for disappointed fans, or fund research into this cruel and debilitating affliction. Please give it some thought the next time you’re sitting beside your X-wing shaped swimming pool.

Help us Mr. Lucas, you’re our only hope.

Yours sincerely Darth Afflicted


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