Rehearsals continue for our spring offering of ‘The Memory of Water’ and our festival entry ‘Kill Jill’.

At the committee meeting last week (I have to confess I wasn’t there) a myriad of topics were debated judging by the minutes, including the Village Fete, the village Boffins Quiz, the ODN Quiz and the possibility of a evening of tenpin bowling-and you thought the social side of the group was dead. A busy evening it seems.

The Annual Dinner (see earlier blog) was also brought up-old joke but it always makes me smile-and we have received a small rebate-well done Sally.

So it looks as though the KBDG is in for a hectic time this year-I can hardly wait.

One the events of course not mentioned is the up-and-coming nuptials of the divine Emily. Many a lad will be devastated by the news she is making an honest chap of her fella. There you are, that’s life guys.

The real sad news is Old Chuffer tells me he hasn’t heard from Marylinn so it looks as though that’s that. Not even a Valentine card I’m told. Get the old after-shave out Chuffer you’ll have to get back on the razz if only to give me spice for me blog!

Went to see the film Australia this week. What a disappointment that turned out to be.

I was expecting some kind of gritty epic but what we got was some kind of Mills & Boon offering. Picture one scene when some guy had been trampled by 1500 cattle. He is just alive-yeah right-his leg is behind his ear-you get the idea-he looks up and speaks “How’s the little fella…..?” You couldn’t make it up.

What else is happening on the entertainment front? Judging by the TV schedules very little. Ant and Dec are back on a Saturday night, that alone would account for the increase in emigration. Another thing. When did Central News become Meridian News? Did I miss something? Turn on the local news and find out what’s happening in Kent-great. What happened to Wes? It was bad enough when we had to hear all about what was going on in Reading but now hey we’re getting Bournemouth news too. Good grief-it gets worse and worse!

Now, preparing to mourn the anniversary of the death of Henry Percy, 1st Earl of Northumberland, killed in battle on the 19th February in 1408, I heard this tale about a gynaecologist who had become fed up with malpractice insurance and NHS paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become an car mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.

"You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the exhaust, which I've never seen done in my entire career."