IT probably sounds a bit pretentious to call myself a music industry insider, but this is how I’ve often been described in my role providing DJs and bands for a spectrum of private and corporate events.

We were thrilled my company, Sound Advice, had a small role providing the DJ at the recent nuptials of our future King.

Fortunately it didn’t require attendance at said gathering.

This may sound strange, but after 30 years of watching everyone from royalty to footballers’ wives throw themselves around the dance floor, I was happy to pass, as the alternative was a short break.

A few months back, we almost killed ourselves producing legendary disco stars Donna Summer, right, and the Pointer Sisters on a remote Thai island.

Melting in the heat and drowning in the rain, we still managed to fulfil Ms Summer’s complex requirements and enjoyed a few Spinal Tap-style moments with the Pointers.

Can an artist really throw a complete tantrum over the style of lettuce or the brand of still water? In this extraordinary and unrealistic world, the recession seems to be over, with the moneyed few still happy to employ us to produce legends for the delight of their party guests.

It will probably come as no surprise that the marvellous Lionel Richie, right, is a complete master of the strange art of private parties and is thus our very favourite entertainer.

He performs a stunning greatest hits set, remembers everyone’s name and where he is, and spends the least possible time at the event, giving us less headaches.

From tightly timed arrival, to a brief meet and greet with the client and a rocking set, the whole experience is a total joy.

We have another date with him later this year – I can’t wait.

Some of my least favourite times have been at surprise parties – which are often a recipe for disaster.

There’s one that particularly sticks in my memory – it was a recently enriched ‘new’ millionaire’s 40th. As he realised to his complete horror what was happening – and how much of his money was being spent – he completely lost his sense of humour.

His wife, who’d organised the whole thing, sensed his mood and collapsed in a near nervous breakdown.

I had to introduce myself as she sobbed in my arms mascara running down her face.

The evening was saved by an amazingly rocky set from the inimitable Bonnie Tyler. Sensing the near catastrophe (she’d met the sobbing wife) Bonnie powered through an awesome hits set at some considerable volume that simply silenced the guests who had no option but to get down on the dancefloor.

A very odd triumph!