Well, our new coalition Government has proved one thing for sure – they’re as good if not better at lying than the previous lot.

While he was Leader of the Opposition, David Cameron did a lot of whinging and whining about the various taxes the Labour Government were using to rob motorists at the pump.

He even went as far as to promise that if the Conservatives were elected then they would do things differently (well, he wasn’t lying there).

Fuel duty and VAT increases will add about 4p to the price of a litre of fuel this year.

Now, I’m no hippy and I can’t stand lentils but surely this is the time when we need to seriously consider the option of alternative bio fuels.

Apart from the heavily debated issue of the ozone layer, there is the fact that Mr Obama and his faithful puppy the British Government must have figured out that the majority of the planet’s oil reserves are in a part of the world where the people don’t really like interference from foreign governments.

Some fuels can be harvested from crops and you would think he would have figured out that America has millions of acres of land on which to grow it.

Or maybe he realises other parts of the world could have equal success in growing fuel crops and he doesn’t have enough troops to occupy the entire planet.

The good news is that researchers have developed fuel from coffee beans that will happily run a car with an internal combustion engine.

That would be great for the economies of places like Brazil and Colombia; bad news for drug barons and rain forests though.

And just imagine how many marines the USA would need to invade and occupy Costa and Starbucks, or maybe they would cut out the middleman and just bomb the hell out of South America instead?

There is of course the option to run engines on used frying oil – with a simple conversion to a diesel motor you could be purring along happily leaving nothing but the fragrant scent of French fries in your wake.

This would provide a vital boost for the food industry too, as motorists behind you would take one whiff of your exhaust and then head straight for the nearest chippy...