Sassy&Single: What a way to scare away the mum-in-law

10:00am Wednesday 28th July 2010

By Sue Carter

LAST Friday night I heard what I think is the most embarrassing story involving a prospective in-law I’ve ever heard.

It was a moment so horrible, it has taken my friend nearly 10 years to work up the courage to tell us about it.

Put yourself in her shoes, and imagine you’re a young 20-something and you’re the kind of girl that looks like butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth. Heck, people even use the word ‘wholesome’ to describe you.

You’ve just stayed the night at your boyfriend’s parent’s house. You’re the daughter they never had, and without seeming arrogant, you know they’re secretly thanking the stars their son met you and not some heavily tattooed girl covered in piercings. Your friends joke that his mother is already picking out pieces of the heirloom jewellery she will pass on to you.

Then comes the incident that not only causes his mum to slam that jewellery case shut, but also throw away the key. But it wasn’t your fault really, you were just really unlucky.

It’s a crisp Sunday morning when your neighbour calls to break the news. Your home has been burgled and the police are on the way. More than a little in shock you make your way home, accompanied not just by your boyfriend, but also your prospective mother-in-law.

Your house isn’t very large, and it’s pretty obvious from the moment you arrive that the thieves have gone for the items which would make them a quick quid.

Gone are your TV, stereo, CDs and entire DVD collection. Well, except for your special edition Titanic DVD, which they kindly left in the middle of the floor.

You then head upstairs to see what mess has been made of your bedroom with your mother-in-law to-be and, by this stage, a lovely young policeman in tow.

As you reach the top of the stairs you notice your bedroom door has been left wide open.

Without taking another step you can see your room is decimated. Every drawer and every item of clothing you owned has been tossed onto the floor. And then that’s when you see it.

Standing on one of the corner post legs of your bed as proud as the Statue of Liberty is…. How shall I put this? that special ‘battery operated toy’.

Great, not only has your home been violated by thieves, they were thieves with a sense of humour.

With your mother-in-law-to-be approximately one second behind you on the stairs, and the policeman directly behind her, what do you do?

You dive across the room like a rugby player tackling an opponent, and knock the item onto the duvet with one hand, whilst flicking the cover over it with the other.