Phew... I’m just glad it’s over. I cannot stand New Year – and New Year’s Eve has, for as long as I can remember, left me cold.

As such, I did this year what I always do – got into bed about 10pm, read for a bit, and woke on Friday glad to be rid of the whole thing.

So how do I feel today? Great.

I don’t mind January. Yes, work is hard, but there are the sales, and holiday plans to sort out, and somehow or other it passes uneventfully enough.

It’s February I dread.

Why we can’t hibernate like bears is beyond me.

Just think of the money you’d save if you could sleep from the end of January through to the middle of March?

Personally, I think it should be mandatory, a legal requirement that all British citizens retire to their bedrooms to sleep out the dark weeks of the grimmest month, then wake refreshed to tackle spring and the joys of summer’s approach.

Except, as of yet, no drug appears to have been invented that would allow us to pass safely into the world of nod, leaving winter alone to lose its grip.

It’s a shame because I really struggle during this time.

It’s not so much that I get depressed, as lethargic. Everything seems too much trouble, work is dull, everyone’s short of cash (and short tempered with it) and not even Valentine’s Day can raise the spirits.

But hibernation would solve all of that. And just consider the benefits...

True hibernation is not only characterised by profound reductions in metabolism, oxygen consumption and heart rate. Coupled with these changes, an organism also loses about 40 per cent of its body weight.

Yes, you read that right. Forget all those New Year slimming fads; you could eat and drink as much as you like during the festive period and know you’re going to lose all of it during an eight-week siesta.

And just for one moment, think of the difference that would make to the nation’s mental health.

No more worry or stress over love handles and negligees that don’t fit anymore. Antidepressants would go out the window, to be replaced by slim, lithe, happy individuals. But if that isn’t enough to convince you, consider that from a purely practical point of view, heating bills would also drop. Six to eight weeks with radiators on their lowest settings would save everyone a fortune (and doubtless be good for environment too).

And best of all, we’d all get to sleep through Celebrity Big Brother.

Still, it’s probably not going to happen during my lifetime.

I’ve got about 30 years left, and cheerfully, the last 10 of those will probably be spent in some retirement home, doped up to the eyeballs, which will be a form of hibernation in itself. That leaves me with just 20 Februarys to get through. Hell, thinking about it, a couple of trips to both Waterstone's and the off-licence should just about see me through...