I recently stumbled upon an online list of things all women should have achieved by the age of 30 years of age.

Intrigued (well, turning 50 next year I wanted to check out how well I was doing), I clicked and discovered that this one site was merely the tip of the iceberg.

I uncovered a minefield of other links bursting with advice and, I have to be honest here, ridiculous rules for women turning the grand old age of 30 to adhere to. Allow me to share just a few little gems.

Apparently, according to one site I laughed at, your thirtieth birthday should coincide exactly with the date you consign any clothing you own with a hemline a millimetre above knee-length to the charity shop.

What a load of tosh. True, shorter skirts aren’t great for everyone, but there are some 20 year olds that shouldn’t even consider owning said item and plenty of 40 year olds (and over) who look fabulous showing off their shapely pins.

That statement is as ridiculous as refusing to eat an item of food that is one minute past its sell-by date.

Another reads that every woman over 30 should own an umbrella they are not ashamed to be seen with. To me, that just means one that doesn’t blow inside out every third step you take, nor boast any broken spokes. I checked a few sites and found that on average many High Street stores want you to shell out around £40 for an umbrella. Something every woman over 30 should be aware of is that if you spend more than a tenner on one it’s absolutely inevitable you’ll leave it on a bus. You should also never ever stay up all night after 30 as you now really need your beauty sleep, the advice reads.

Surely there’s no point in making sure you look that hot if you don’t occasionally spend a whole night up allowing yourself to make the most of it? Frankly, you might just as well get some practice in for the bouts of insomnia that are heading your way in your 40s anyway – and just enjoy yourself.

More advice reads that you should never use the word cool, chew gum, wear fashionable clothes for the sake of it and that you should have established an exercise regime and be saving for your old age (gulp!).

For me, the prize goes to the comment that you should by now know that you can’t change the length of your legs or the width of your hips. You already know that at 20 of course, but sadly don’t be surprised if you’re still fretting over it at 50, because that’s what really happens.

I hope not too many women turning 30 take those lists too seriously. My advice would be avoid them like the plague and just do what feels right – otherwise 30 might just as well be the new 60.