Sometimes it’s great when things vanish from the face of the planet simply because it would have been better if they had never been created.

Two things I would happily help disappear forever are pop socks and male ballet tights. If they were part of the animal kingdom I’d like them to have missed the ark.

For some strange reason pop socks seem very popular – lingerie departments are full of them – but there’s nothing like the flash of the top of a pop sock to fill me with horror. They have to be the least glamorous item of clothing in existence. Male ballet tights are in a league of their own. They are positively pornographic.

I’m no prude but surely anyone wearing them in public should be arrested on the spot for indecent exposure. I have no idea how they managed to survive the Mary Whitehouse reign.

However one of the things I thought had gone for good appears to be heading back – and it’s bad news.

Over the past few weeks I have spotted no less than three men sporting combovers. Yes it’s true, men are once again buying into the myth that if they grow abnormally long strands of hair in areas that they still can, and drape it over the areas of their head that they now can’t, we’ll all be convinced they still have a full mop.

The main difference from the combovers around in my youth is that this time the men are growing long tufts at the back and forcing them to the front giving them an odd kind of ageing-mod look.

The question has to be WHY? There’s nothing wrong with being bald. Not having hair doesn’t make a man less attractive – in fact it’s often the reverse. Lots of bald celebrities are hot as hell – yep, even the women, Natalie Portman and Persis Khambatta to name just two.

Here’s the truth – I don’t know any woman who wouldn’t want to date someone just because he was bald – and I don’t know any woman who would want to date a man sporting a combover.

Even my fussiest friend who, get this, has rejected the advances of men for not liking the way they sat with their legs crossed too high, the way they held a cigarette or for having the wrong kind of ears (your guess is as good as mine) has never uttered a single negative word about a man for being folically challenged.

So take heart, if your locks are getting loose forget all about the magic potions and the lotions, forget the hair transplants and please don’t grow a strip of hair to drape over your skull – just shave the lot off. Most women like that.

Well, now I’ve got that off my chest, I’m hypocritically off to dye my hair. The white ones are growing back and if you think I’m going to embrace and accept my own ageing hair challenges you can think again.