I am annoyed about cancer. It is the dirty word that we dread to speak. It is the enemy within who doesn’t fight fair. But do we really know what it is? And why am I so annoyed?

Let’s get this straight. Cancer is not a disease – it is a collection of many diseases that look different on the surface and under a microscope.

Cancers can be caused by exposure to viruses, inherited mutations in DNA and corrupt checkpoints in the otherwise normal process of cell death.

It is because of this difference that I get so angry when I hear the terms “cure and cancer” together. Like it might be possible to find a magic bullet that eliminates all cancers. The chance of this is so small I’d say it’s impossible. The word “cure” annoys me too. It is bursting with hope and emotion and is too readily used to tug at heartstrings when what we really should be talking about is how we live with this “enemy within”.

Because most cancers happen when one of our own cell fails to die. The story of the immortal cell: our cells cruise round a cycle – a bit like the Oxford ring road – they travel along until they get to a red light where the cell police inspect and make sure the cell is healthy. If it fails the health check it gets sent down “apoptosis road” to die.

Now imagine that the cell police have become corrupt and turn a blind eye when a damaged cell goes through a red light.

That is the start of a tumour.

That damaged cell makes copies of itself and all its damaged parts making a pack that keeps growing. Occasionally a damaged cell breaks off from the pack, makes a detour through Marsden and – wham – the cancer has spread.

It frustrates me that cancers take such little notice of the efforts you make to prevent them. Sure if you smoke, you will probably get cancer. But what about the healthy guy who eats well, exercises and generally looks after himself? It might make a difference to his heart but cancer doesn’t seem to give a damn!

Right? Well recent research suggests that cancers of the external body – anything that is in direct contact with the environment (including stomach, bowel and lungs) – make up the biggest killers. So what we expose ourselves to does make some difference. But following the latest cancer-protecting fad (broccoli by the tonne; enough blueberries to make Violet Beauregard jealous) probably won’t. This is about consistent rather than binge healthiness.

There are loads of Oxford scientists developing promising new treatments but I am really annoyed that the process of getting new treatments to patients is so slow.

Testing treatments in clinical trials is incredibly tightly controlled. We have become so risk averse that I often wonder whether the ethics of making clinical trials meet our safety standards outweigh the number of patients who die while they wait for a treatment.