Dapper. Dashing. Male - Off to the land down under

This week while everyone was miserably enduring Blue Monday, I was having quite a different experience. I was collecting some Australian dollars from the bank and working out quite what I would need in order to survive, sartorially, for two months away. I’ve been invited to run the Adelaide Festival’s restaurant and I’ve accepted, which means all of the normal harbingers of January gloom have had minimal effect upon me; in fact none have even penetrated my normally delicate hide.

I will be leaving Sausage HQ in capable hands and, more importantly, leaving my home – Nina the Narrowboat – under the watchful eye of a good friend and heading Down Under to temperatures of between 38 and 43 degrees Celsius, enjoying the full spread of the hospitality that Australia can offer. When I was asked what salary I would consider to come across to the other side of the world, I thought for a while before saying that I wouldn’t consider any money at all. They would just have to pay my airfare and accommodate me once I’d got to Australia but I didn’t want any money to change hands. They must have thought it a particularly good deal. As a token offering, they suggested that my pay could be “the junket”. According to Wiki, this is a “pleasure-trip; a journey made for feasting or enjoyment, especially a trip made ostensibly for business but which entails merrymaking or entertainment”. It sounded just the ticket; I’m going on every wine tour, I’m going to sleep under the stars in the bush, I’m eating in the finest restaurants, I’m apparently visiting seaweed farms and even kangeroo hunting, as a much-needed method to control herd numbers.

I’m aiming to do everything, in Adelaide, in Sydney and even along the Gold Coast. Fortunately, I’ve managed to collect a good few familiar faces to see along the way, so every day should be exciting.

I think it’s the first time in my life that I’ve been head-hunted, so am making the most of it. I’ve been invited to host at the festival by an old friend who was my chef at a restaurant in Berkshire, which I ran in 2010. We had an amazing time together, running one of the most exciting restaurants I’ve worked in.

He’s now one of the most inspiring chefs in Australia and, still only 25 years of age, is the key figure driving forward the culinary side of the Adelaide Festival. Although the city of Adelaide hasn’t traditionally had the hugest popularity, it has become the gastronomic hub of Australia, and its festival is seen as the key culinary date in the country’s calendar.

The prospect of two months away from your business is terrifying, it’s like leaving a babysitter in charge of a very young baby (particularly in the back-waters of the Oxford Castle Quarter, where, unless you’re shouting about things, very few people come to visit you). I’m delighted to say that I have very good people left in charge, but it doesn’t make the prospect much easier. The flip-side, however, is that had I not chosen this path in life, had I chosen to work in an office, to get married at a younger age and have children, to get bogged down (however enjoyably) with mortgage, school fees and associated debt, then I most likely wouldn’t even be in a position to entertain two months away. There are always pros and cons to any lifestyle choices. Having seen Christmas through, when every day leaves you wanting someone to cuddle up to, small humans to play around with and share their excitement for the season’s treats, New Year returns you to a time when solitude is a more acceptable existence. I’m also missing the most miserable time of year, when rain and cold persistently dampen any enthusiasm you’ve managed to muster for life. Instead, I shall be wearing shorts and sunglasses, enjoying fine wine and doing my best to feel sorry for everyone left at home in the cold. Cheerio