I GUESS to some people it probably does feel festive. But to me, wrapping a piece of tinsel around a kitchen accessory does not – by itself – embody the spirit of this season (note: today is November 25).

Nevertheless, I spotted such a decoration last week – a toaster, together with a washing machine and vacuum – in the window of one of those small independent electrical shops that pride themselves on ‘friendly service’. And as usual it depressed me.

I actually like Christmas and its millennia-old message of hope and magic but for some mindless reason, retailers today seem hell-bent on convincing us that items which represent the very pinnacle of domestic banality – kettles, cookers, deep fat fryers – are in fact the very essence of the yuletide experience. And sadly, this coming weekend, quite a few of us will buy into that.

I know this because two days ago I had to dissuade a friend from buying an electric blanket for his girlfriend.

“She says she gets cold at night,” he claimed by way of defence, proudly showing me the part torn cardboard box said blanket was packaged in.

Thankfully I talked him out of it – I do hate to see new love fall at the first hurdle – but when I asked what her hobbies and passions might be, his eyes glazed over.

“Look, it’s a Christmas present Jer, not a wedding ring,” he complained, before settling on perfume, chocolates and lingerie, that holy trinity of the male gift giver.

Now personally, I’d rather receive nothing than gifts only given out of duty. But clearly I’m in a minority. Most people I know seem genuinely pleased when a loved one presents them with a coffee maker or trouser press.

This Saturday and Sunday of course will signal the first big push of the Christmas rush, and as such, you can be sure Bicester Village and Cornmarket will rock. But before you think this is just another hoary old rant about Christmas’s garish commercialisation, let me state – I love all that.

What I hate is the way people seem so ready to be swayed by what the high street chains tell us: that a mobile phone, plasma screen or collection of non-stick saucepans will guarantee a wife or girlfriend the best Christmas... ever.

For instance, someone in my family is this year giving his wife binoculars. She hates the great outdoors and never attends sporting occasions. So quite what she’ll do with them I have no idea. But that hasn’t dampened his enthusiasm. According to him, the fact they’re ‘top of the range’ and boast ‘image stabilisation’ is explanation enough (last year incidentally, he gave bathroom scales...).

So this Christmas, can we just once spare a thought for all those people who, on December 25, will unwrap entirely inappropriate presents from those they love most.

It’s not big and it’s not clever...