Ladies, when will you learn? A pair of tights rammed under a mini-dress that you would just as likely wear to The Bridge nightclub – a work outfit does not make. I pity the male members of our office who are regularly accosted by women wearing the ‘walk of shame’ look [when you turn up wearing the same clothes as the night before] when it’s only Wednesday. Except they’re not performing the walk of shame; they’ve just totally misjudged the meaning of ‘appropriate for the workplace’. Now that we’ve established that, please understand that I don’t do office conformity. But there’s something to be said for having a workwear compass: The only thing worse than being underdressed is being overdressed.

I probably have slightly old-fashioned views when it comes to glamour and femininity. In my personal opinion, nothing can truly beat the simplicity of a well-cut skirt or the elegance of a ruffled blouse. I just can’t help but feel that a pair of well-chosen heels styled with a high-waisted satin pencil skirt is the classiest combination ever devised for working women. And it seems I'm not the only one who feels that way.

My latest research for Conlumino, appropriately entitled What Britain Wears To Work, revealed that 60.2 per cent of people believe that dressing smartly for work is important. Yet I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve looked at a girl en route to work and wondered where the rest of her outfit is. Usually because I’m positioned at a disadvantage, two steps below her on the escalator at South Kensington station. And before you say I’m being judgmental, or suggest that they could actually be going anywhere, I’m afraid the oversized handbag stuffed with paperwork invariably gives away their destinations.

It’s not exactly a look that screams smart and sophisticated. More like ‘open for business’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a puritan. But, whilst I’m not usually one to rely on rules, I do think the ‘boobs or legs but never both’ edict is a cardinal fashion law that should not be broken, especially in the office.

So, to recap: Wearing a pair of tights with the Asos bodycon that you wore last Friday night does not make it acceptable for work.

Also, if you would wear the same dress on a first date, chances are it’s not the best look for the office. You’re not going on a date with the whole of floor six.

If it’s see-through up top or down below, save it for after-work drinks. No-one needs that kind of distraction when they’re trying to get through their Monday morning emails.

When your outfit shows more skin than it covers up, it’s not really doing its job. And you definitely didn’t get your money’s worth.

Flip flops are a no no. And this should really go for anyone regardless of the line of work they’re in. Work shoes shouldn’t come with sound effects, end of.