This article is not an examination of the merits of adoption but rather it seeks to explore the alternatives available when a child remains within their birth family but not with their parents. If a child is adopted their adoptive family will become their new family. The child’s birth certificate is changed to reflect their new family name. The adoptive parents acquire parental responsibility for the child – which is all the rights and responsibilities associated with being a parent. The birth parents lose all their parental responsibility and have no further say in decisions throughout the child’s life. This is the most extreme order made in relation to a child in this country and it usually cuts all ties between the child and their birth family.

When a child does not live with their birth parents but remains within the extended family (or with friends) and maintains a relationship with their birth parents there are orders more appropriate than an adoption order. These ensure the family member or friend has the rights they require to care for the child and make decisions for them, as well as maintaining the rights of the birth parent.

The first is a residence order. It determines who a child will live with and gives this carer parental responsibility for the child. However, the rights and responsibilities of the carer will be equally shared with the parents.

This means that all major decisions in a child’s life will have to be discussed with the parents and agreement sought.

So, if the child moves to secondary school, the choice of which school needs to be agreed by the parents and the carer.

The same goes for non-emergency medical treatment the child may need, or if the child is to leave the country for longer than four weeks. If there is disagreement the matter has to be determined by a court. The second option for a long-term carer of the child is a special guardianship order and the carer will become the child’s special guardian. This order still leaves the parents with their rights and responsibilities for the child.

However, the special guardian has a superior parental responsibility. This means that when it comes to decisions the special guardian has to involve the parent in the decision, but if there is a disagreement the special guardian has the final say.

Both orders allow the parents to retain their rights and responsibilities for the child, and allow the child to retain a link to their birth parents.

However, it is evident the orders have very different effects on the decision making in the future of the child’s life and any carer taking on a child who is not theirs needs to consider what they actually need.