IHave a great relationship with the father of my children but we never agree about child maintenance. How can we resolve this and do we have to go to the Child Support Agency?

Even where separated parents have a positive relationship, there may be times when an issue arises that cannot be agreed. Some people worry that talking about the issue can feel like “rocking the boat” but ignoring it could also lead to problems and may make the friendship feel strained.

In these situations, one option may be to contact a Family Matters Guide to find out about local mediators or to contact a local service yourself. Mediation is a voluntary process in which an impartial person would manage any discussions and help you both identify issues and think about resolving them.

It is not always possible for parents to reach agreement, but important that they listen to each other’s point of view which can help keep communication open and positive.

It is also normal for parents to disagree about maintenance as parents who live apart generally do not have a good idea of each other’s needs or financial circumstances. Some parents may wish to spell out exactly what each parent pays for using a Parenting Agreement or Family Based Arrangement – both of which can be discussed at mediation. Others prefer to simply go with the statutory scheme which calculates maintenance by applying a percentage to the net income of the parent who pays. The Child Support Agency is now known as the Child Maintenance Service and is helpful in cases where maintenance is not paid at all or where there are arrears. For those parents who want to reach their own agreement, the independent organisation CM Options can offer advice about how to reach agreement. They can be contacted on freephone 0800 988 0988 or online at cmoptions.org