I have never conformed. I have always had, and still thrive on, an uncoventional path. In fact, let’s go back to 1994, what a hot summer that was. I was a student in London reading French. I remember the humid heat as I was expecting my first baby. Oh those hot pregnancy flushes – c’etait tres chaud...

That of course is about as much as I can remember, of the French at least. But I will never forget Ben’s arrival. It wasn’t without the odd dramatic twist and turn, including a self discharge from hospital mid-labour.

Even today, I can still see the face of the cabbie who drove me back to my East End flat wearing a Tens machine (don’t know? Ask a mother) and little else. Five hours later my son was born to the sound of bow bells, or “bluebells” as he thought the ditty went.

Now, I recently had another baby – Betsy. It wasn’t that the first experience took 18 years to heal, it was just such a really unconventional gap.

She was born less dramatically at the JR last January to the faint sound of heavy snowfall. I love my chaotic family life: two children, two Jack Russells and a dearly beloved.

We have just moved house and home is now the Barbour hotbed of Chipping Norton. But like everything in my life, it didn’t pass without challenges.

For instance, it took us a week to get the bed in the bedroom. After strategic planning we eventually hoisted it through the bathroom window. During the same weekend as the big upheaval there came a BOGOF (‘Buy One Get One Free’) christening, with both B and B baptised at St Nicholas Church in Baulking by Rosanna the Vicar and her ‘Holy Thermos Flask”. Don’t ask.

Yet only 24 hours earlier I had questioned the decision to have the christening at all. You see, my mother arrived from Dorset and having welcomed her with a cup of tea and shown her around our new house, I promptly shut two of her much-loved fingers in our utility door. As if that wasn’t enough, she then declared she’d travelled over 100 miles with two mismatched items of footwear.

Not that I could crow; I retrieved my new dress for this important family occasion from a suitcase only to discover a big, grey security tag was still attached and it was now 7.30pm. How to detach it?

I visualised having to get through the entire christening with one hand on my left buttock to hide it.

Fortunately, three hours later it was removed by an EXTREMELY kind shop supervisor who drove to my house from the shop in Bicester Village where I’d bought it. And yes, that’s what I call unconventionally good customer service. So, another week, another crisis, another crisis avoided. Just...

Kat Orman is on BBC Radio Oxford every weekday afternoon from 1pm to 4pm.