Sir – Reading the recent Off the Rails correspondence reminded me, quite affectionately, of two delightful inadvertent railway jargon “misuses” which I, and others, enjoyed at Oxford station many years ago.

The first occurred when a packed platform of passengers patiently awaiting several delayed trains coming from the south were clearly advised by the station announcer that all services were “severely delayed due to a fertility on the line”. Notwithstanding their collective frustration, all present burst out laughing — quite inappropriately.

The second incident involved a Banbury train, which I caught by the skin of my teeth one evening, having dashed non-stop from Wellington Square. As I collapsed into a seat, grateful to have avoided a 90-minute wait for the next train, over the train’s tannoy came the request to get off “because this train has now defected”. Thereafter, with all passengers safely on the platform, the train was dragged by another unit to the sidings where, presumably, it claimed some sort of asylum.

Peter John, Lower Heyford