ACKNOWLEDGING that in this enlightened age they are trained to do so, I have no strong objection to shop assistants telling us to have a nice day, even if they could be talking to a masochist and sometimes not much of that 24-hour period remains.

I do find it a little irritating when they enquire whether we have already had a nice day, this being none of their business, and it being possible that during this time we have undergone a string of catastrophes which we may not particularly care to discuss with a stranger.

When it is wondered whether I need help packing two or three items, I tend to reply, usually to their polite amusement, that I shall do my best, but should I get into difficulties shall send up a flare.

Recently a young chap behind the counter in a stationers apologised for a wait I scarcely considered to constitute one, although in order not to prolong it, I conceded that something of a delay had occurred.

The best scenario, however, is when, in shirtsleeves and obviously carrying nothing, one enters a supermarket, purchases 10 or so articles and is asked whether one requires a bag.

To this I once joking replied: “No thanks, I’m the Great Dimento – the world’s leading juggler!”

Unfortunately the basically charming check-out lady had not yet entirely mastered the English language and responded with a very blank look.

Maybe it served me right, but I trust that all those responsible for such nonsense will take note.

DAVID DIMENT Riverside Court Oxford