This is it, folks, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, when I finally reveal the top 10 Worst Cars in the World Evah!

After a year of writing about disastrous designs, motoring mishaps and catastrophic failures, it’s time to pull the cracker on the greatest turkeys of all time.

10: Austin Allegro: Neatly described as the “flying pig”, its design was cack-handed to the point where it has now become a cult car for geeks who should know better.

9: Vauxhall Nova: A boring car made intensely irritating after being pimped by brainless bozos.

8: Cadillac Escalade: Like Frankenstein’s monster driven by senseless sultans of bling. Only someone with more money than sense would want to pay £70,000 for a car that eats fuel and has gaps in the bodywork you can put your foot through.

7: Hummer: A planet-sapping blot on motoring history. Ideal if you want to start your own Gulf War or are an Arnold Schwarzenegger lookalike. Otherwise, steer well clear.

6: Reliant Robin: I still can’t fathom why anyone would want a car that had just three wheels. Part of a bad joke that lasted for decades.

5: Ford StreetKa: The sports version of the Ka is a hairdesser’s favourite. Use as transport to bad taste parties.

4: CityRover: The last of the line for this once great British company before the Chinese took it away. A sad excuse for a modern motor car.

3: Smart: Embarrassing objects more akin to rollerskates than proper cars. At least they are small enough to hide when you visit friends and family and you can pretend you came on the bus instead.

2: Citroen 2CV: The car that was almost impossible to get moving thanks to the push-pull gearbox – you just had to yank it until something, anything, happened. The design survived 40 years thanks to owners being able to replace body panels with bin liners and engines with elastic bands which gave them a power boost.

1: Morris Marina (pictured): Where do you start? This was Cowley’s finest hour – Not. But it wasn’t so much the workers’ fault as a product of poor decision-making and cost-cutting by management. The Marina was, and remains, an abomination and fully deserving of the overall title ‘Worst Car in the World – Evah!’