Riled rabbi criticises divorced duchess for trying to play happy families SARAH, Duchess of York, has been severely criticised by an Oxford Rabbi for her suggestion that children of divorced parents are better off having both parents living in the same house.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, 31, who is director of the Oxford University Jewish Society, L'Chaim, and a renowned marriage guidance counsellor, dismissed the duchess's comments as 'deeply misguided and absurd'.

The divorced duchess, who last year moved back into the marital home she and Prince Andrew once shared with their two daughters Beatrice and Eugenie, thinks the situation is ideal.

When interviewed recently on American TV, the duchess said: "He lives on the top floor and I live on the bottom floor and we have breakfast together and spend weekends together.

"It is good for the children. This is why we are an example to young people who get divorced."

But Rabbi Boteach, an American Hasidic Jew and father of five girls and one boy, disagrees. "Amicable divorce is far worse for children. I'm not saying divorced parents should be at each other's throats but they should minimise contact with each other and simply deal with arrangements for the children amicably." The Rabbi, who divides his time betwen his home in Hinksey Hill, Oxford, and work in London, is a firm believer in passionate marriage.

The duchess, who was divorced from Prince Andrew in 1996 and separated from him two years before that, is also the product of a broken home. Her parents divorced when she was young, both remarried and now live in different countries. She has a strong relationship with both.

Rabbi Boteach believes marriage should be worked at to be the best it possibly can be.

"Marriage should be based on passionate love and not companionship or security," he said.

Author of many books, including The Jewish Guide to Adultery - How to turn your Marriage into an Ilicit Affair and Kosher Sex, which is due out later this month, Rabbi Boteach believes people like the Duchess of York are doing long-term emotional damage to their children.

He said: "My own parents divorced when I was young but I understood why. They shouted and screamed at one another and I could clearly see that the marriage had ended. "But there were other kids in my class whose divorced parents took them out to the movies. It confused them if their parents appeared to be best friends. What it says to the kids is that marriage doesn't work. It leaves them disillusioned and wondering why their parents hurt them so much by getting divorced if they still seem to get along just fine."

"Later on, they abandon the institution of marriage because they get cynical about it," said the rabbi.

He said that parents should give their children hope for their own future by admitting they've made a mistake but assuring the child that he or she can do things differently.

"Children need a sense of hope that one day they will find love and it will last. Everyone wants to feel they are unique and everyone wants to be loved and feel that they are special. "I always say that love is when you are like the sun with all the other planets revolving around you. Parents can't give their children that kind of love - it's the kind of love you feel when you are in love.

"If the parents appear to get along after divorce then the child becomes disillusioned with the instiutution of marriage and is more likely to become attached to the greater passions of the sing;les scene, rather than the intimacy of marriage.

"I think the duchess's way of thinking is deeply damaging her children's hopes for the future."

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