At 15, Shannon was a heroin addict. At 19, she's a young mum with a chance. Zahra Akkerhuys hears a tale of horror and hope . . .

One day Shannon Ryan wants to go to Paris. She has never been abroad but knows there's a whole world out there just waiting to be discovered.

Seeing her talk about what she wants in life, with her beautiful chestnut eyes shining bright with excitement, it's hard to believe that six months ago this 19-year-old was addicted to heroin.

Shannon RyanIt's as if she's woken up after a long deep sleep and is making up for what she has missed. She is a devoted mother to her three-year-old son, Mark, and loves her partner, Sam, to bits.

In many ways Shannon, from Rosehill, couldn't be more different to the stereotype of an addict. She has white, porcelain skin. There are no needle marks on her arms, her eyes are alert and she is bubbling over with energy.

But for three years Shannon hovered on the margins of society, supported by just her mother Carmel, Sam (an addict himself), and his mother.

Her neighbours and so-called friends judged her, condemned her lifestyle, and called her names behind her back such as junkie, scaghead, druggie and brownhead to name but a few.

But at the time she did not care - in fact all she cared about was where her next fix was coming from.

"It was all I thought about - especially when I woke up in the morning. People have no idea what it's like. I used to say to myself: Everyone thinks you're a scaghead so you might as well be one.'

"From time to time I would go to the doctors when I was in a bad way but they just didn't want to know. I didn't get any sympathy and everything seemed so pointless," she says.

What she liked about being an addict was the fact it took the edge off her problems.

She traces the root of her problems largely back to the traumatic day, aged 14, when she was raped by a 23-year-old.

Her eyes glaze over when she remembers that day: "I think that was the turning point. My self-esteem and self-respect just disappeared - I went off the rails then and started sleeping with older men because I liked them giving me attention. Then afterwards, I would just be back to square one - they would just leave me.

"I felt as if I was totally alone. It was as if I was standing in the middle of a field all on my own."

Initially she tried to block out her feelings with alcohol, sometimes drinking a bottle of cheap vodka a day. It was easy to graduate from drink to soft drugs such as cannabis and then it was only a matter of months before Shannon and her friends started experimenting with heroin and crack cocaine.

"We would pool our money together and buy whatever we could. My mum would sometimes give me £5 to spend in town, so I'd put that in the pot and everyone else would do the same.

"If we ran out of money then we would just stop people in the street and ask them for some, saying it was for a phone call or a bus fare. I suppose you could call it begging, although we didn't see it like that," she says.

By the time Shannon was 15, she and many of her friends were regularly using heroin. Death is never far away from the door of a heroin addict and Shannon lost one of her first boyfriends to the drug. Ironically it was after he had been given a 'wrap' to celebrate his recent release from prison.

She says: "When he died I was absolutely gutted but it didn't teach me a lesson. You would have thought after seeing someone close die from it that I might have been shocked into giving up but I wasn't. If anything, his death made me worse.

"When I had just taken a fix it helped me forget. I felt just like those hippies that you see on TV, totally relaxed. It's impossible to describe but it was like a painkiller that treated everything."

Just before Shannon turned 16 she met Sam and soon became pregnant.

They were both regularly using the drug but when Shannon realised she was two months' pregnant she stopped because of the long-term damage it could do her unborn child.

Shannon says when Mark was born at the John Radcliffe Hospital she felt totally stunned.

"The moment he was first put in my arms I was shocked by this feeling of responsibility. I had experienced so much in my life but I was only 16. I couldn't believe that I was now a mother. I felt so confused. I was only a teenager but felt as if I was 100.

"I breast-fed for a bit and I wanted to stay off heroin for the baby but my boyfriend was still doing it in the house, right under my nose.

"It was so frustrating - he would go into the bathroom to score and I thought it wasn't fair because he could take it and I couldn't. It was only a matter of time before I got back on it," she says.

The first couple of years of Mark's life are a bit of a blur. Shannon lived at various addresses across the city. Sam was her supplier. When he couldn't get heroin they would use crack or anything else they could get their hands on.

They spent hundreds, sometimes thousands, of pounds, each week on drugs. Sam would fund the habit through crime.

It was only when Shannon reached rock bottom, with Sam in jail and her addiction out of control, that she made the decision to try to come off heroin and on to methadone to 'get clean'.

Her weight had plunged to less than 6st and she had barely enough energy to get up in the morning.

With the support of a drugs counsellor from the Libra Project, based in Cowley Road, Shannon stopped using heroin and has been able to cope without it now for five months.

It's been a long hard process. She knew she wouldn't beat her addiction overnight but she is practically over the physical withdrawal symptoms and each day she is striving to get her life back in order.

For the first time in years she believes life has something to offer and Sam, who's also on methadone to try to beat his addiction, and Mark are central to her world.

"Every morning Mark comes to the chemist with me to get my 'meth'. We've got our routine. I am starting to feel like a normal person. I have had to grow up so quickly in my life but now I feel like a little girl. I feel so young and bubbly.

"In many ways, what I want is not that complicated. I want to have a traditional family unit of a mother, father and children. Yesterday, I cooked a roast chicken with all the trimmings and I love cooking things like lasagne and chicken tikka masala.

"I love washing and cleaning and looking after my family."

She does not want anyone's pity, in fact she is a woman who deserves respect.

Shannon admits she has been to hell and back and regrets all the heartache she has caused her mother, but she has vowed never to touch the drug again. She speaks with such calm conviction that you can't help but believe her.

Shannon and Mark are engaged and they have their name down on Oxford City Council's list for a council house. When they are under one roof she and Mark will tie the knot.

For the first time ever, Shannon has money to buy clothes for herself and her son. She takes a pride in her appearance and is even considering having her hair cut in a Posh Spice style.

All she needs now is a Eurostar ticket to Paris.

**NB: Sam and Mark's names have been changed for legal reasons.