Please, no more household batteries must be sent to landfill sites, or our planet may explode in a big, red cloud.

That is what we are led to believe by those bureaucrats in Brussels.

On September 26, a new European law came into effect to compel us to recycle batteries. If my dictionary is anything to go by, compel means force.

How are they going to force us to recycle such an item?

Perhaps every household will have its own Brussels' busybody watching the wheelie bin, and slapping the hands of anyone throwing away a battery.

Children could be persuaded to leave their battery-operated toys in the 'on' position while asleep, to speed up the recycling process.

Even the refuse lorries might have to be spot-checked to find out if any batteries have leaked past the tight security.

Of course, we can count on Oxford city councillors to come to our rescue, providing us with free red recycling boxes to place the dreaded batteries in.

And because of their colour and being there all the time for filling up, I name these boxes Ever Reddies.

But a word of warning to householders. Don't expect these boxes to be emptied by the council for at least 12 years — about the time taken to fill the damn things up.

I do love these new European laws. They reassure me I'm not the only one mad on this planet!

CHRIS BOSWELL Williamson Way Rose Hill Oxford