One of my favourite Oscar Wilde quotes is this; "It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious".

Not so, old chap. Not so at all. It's especially not the case if you decide to venture into Que Pasa on a Friday night.

This is what I did with myself at the start of last weekend, and I can tell you now, it provoked a mixed bag of reactions.

It was like being handed a giant bag of pick & mix sweeties. You close your eyes and delve into the paper bag with great anticipation.

Your first effort brings you a chocolate covered ball of depravity. You discard this bitter and unwelcome surprise and have another go.

The second attempt finds you holding an uncomfortable portion of testosterone, disguised as a fizzy cola bottle.

The testosterone vaporises and it's in your nostrils before you can scream Sweaty, pervy old men!'.

By this time you're getting really fed up and you've only just arrived at Que Pasa; things are not looking good.

Apologies for the extended metaphor, but it goes a long way to shedding some light on what you might expect if you followed in my footsteps to the land of Fiesta!'.

I'd like to expand on the issues raised above. There were many men standing at the bar. Some hunted in packs while others seemed to be alone, but all had one thing in common - all of their predatory eyes were fixated on the dance floor where a hoard of girls were lapping up the attention.

I shuddered and moved away, digging around in my pocket for a magnifying glass so that I might perform some detective work in order to find at least one saving grace.

Was the music any good? Abba and Chaka Khan were two stand out tracksjudge for yourself, please?

Drinks were not so badly priced, which is always a favourable point to mention.

Que Pasa also seems to attract a great deal of foreign students and foreign Oxford residents and they certainly seem to enjoy themselves.

They might come here expecting a little taste of home, and maybe they find itwho knows!

I can't tell you that you won't enjoy it here, but I can tell you that there are many better places to be on a Friday night in Oxford.

Cut up a whole Chorizo sausage, stick cocktail sticks in the little pieces and you and your friends can get razzled on cheap Sangria in your garden.

This'll be closer to that definitive Fiesta!' experience.

Tonight, Marc and I will be at Bar Risa & Jongleurs on Hythe Bridge Street to see what they have to offer!

Come on get down there, have a drink with us and get your picture taken and be on this page next week.