With Christmas looming, relationships sometimes become strained. High expectations, high expenditure and hard work are often part of Christmas. With so much invested in the holiday it can be a wonderful shared time, but it can also lead to disappointment and stress for families.

The counselling support service, Relate, founded in 1946, believes that couples, family and peer relationships are vital to well-being, as well as to children's happiness and development.

Relate has suggestions about how best to prepare for Christmas: Take time to communicate and plan. Talk about and listen to what everyone would like to do.

Be prepared to negotiate. Don't aim for perfection, just for a happy time.

Share the Christmas tasks and agree to a realistic budget. Stick to it.

Don't let resentments build up before Christmas, but try to be open about your concerns.

Build in time for yourself and your partner.

If your children are somewhere else: Keep in touch. You may be able to use technology (text or email) or send them a letter to be opened at a special time on Christmas day.

Talk to them about any new routine well in advance, including how Christmas will be for you. Reassure them that you will be fine even though you will miss them and encourage them to enjoy themselves.

Remember they will be thinking of you too.

Liaise with your ex-partner or whoever they are staying with; buy gifts of a similar and manageable value.

Try not to feel too guilty or angry, or use your children to score points over other people.

Relate offers a range of services: consultation, relationship counselling, psychosexual therapy, family counselling and personal development courses.

Relationship counselling helps people to explore and understand why they feel and act as they do within their relationships. It also helps people to cope with the emotional consequences of separation and divorce.

Family counselling, too, is a way of helping a family cope with their problems and offers an opportunity for each member to gain some understanding of what part they play in the family.

Psychosexual therapy is a highly effective way of helping couples with a range of sexual problems. It is designed to meet the needs of the couple concerned.

All services are confidential. Relate can see individuals or couples, married or single and of any ethnic origin, faith or sexual orientation.

Relate offers services in Oxford, Banbury, Bicester, Thame and Witney. It has 38 trained counsellors, of whom eight also specialise in psychosexual therapy. Voluntary qualified counsellors volunteer to help and there are volunteer administrators, too.

You can contact Relate on 01865 242960 or visit their website at www.relate-oxfordshire.org