WHEN in merry mood, I sometimes respond to unexpected telephonic calls armed with a selection of foreign poetry and the like.
Imagine my frustration when, the other day, I lifted the receiver only to hear a recorded, female, North American voice declare: “I’m sorry, that’s not valid extension – please try again.”
This was an obviously impossible (as well as unattractive) task, not only because I had not previously done so, but also because the ‘caller’ had unsurprisingly withheld their number. I thought I was supposed to be something of a loony (if one is still permitted to employ such expressions to describe oneself).
Half an hour later, a ‘live’ woman asked to speak to Mr (hideous mispronunciation of my surname), to which I replied she could nonetheless talk to Mr (correct pronunciation) if she wished.
Apparently representing Midland Claims, she enquired as to whether I had ever worked around noisy machinery.
“No,” I answered.
“Okay, then,” she said and hung up. But is it?
Where is it all going to end?
Had I been deafened or traumatised by working around noisy machinery, I am unsure that I would have picked up the phone in the first place!
DAVID DIMENT
Riverside Court
Oxford
Today’s letters
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