Listening to Cindy Gallop talking about sex, totally unselfconsciously in the discreet, genteel, cosy bar of The Old Parsonage, will stay with me for ever, and everyone else within spitting distance, no doubt. Not that Cindy would have noticed or cared, because talking about sex to her is as natural as breathing, a strange trait for an English woman perhaps — we being so notoriously uptight and prudish about the subject as a nation. “We need to bring sex out into the open and make it socially acceptable and when I encounter problems I remember that’s exactly why I’m doing this,” the neat, blonde bobbed, petite, leather trousered, 52 year-old tells me in her cut-glass public school accent.

Maybe that’s why Cindy moved to New York in the first place, but today the Brit is back in Oxford and on a mission to convert us with her ‘makelovenotporn’ concept, which she aims to make a global phenomenon aimed at promoting genuine sex and steering us away from pornography.

As she told me in a loud voice while sipping tea next to some elderly residents taking their grandchildren out on exeat, the idea came to her after a series of less than adequate sexual encounters with younger men, for whom she has a fondness and a voracious appetite.

She realised they were acting out scenarios they had seen in porn movies and wanted to stem the tide by reminding us what real sex is all about.

She’s not anti pornography per se, but wants to offer an alternative.

“While having sex with younger men I began to notice their sexual behaviour and thought ‘wow’ I know where this is coming from and wanted to do something about it.

“So I’m not anti porn but tackling the lack of a counterpoint...',” she explains, unknowingly stopping all other conversations in the vicinity dead.

It’s certainly topical, schools currently deciding how to battle the same issues, and having launched makelovenotporn at the global business forum TED2009 in the US, where she announced her intention to “halt the creeping ubiquity of hardcore pornography into popular culture”, her address has since become the stuff of legend: “My Ted speech went viral and the response was extraordinary,” she smiled.

The makelovenotporn website went live seven weeks ago and Cindy admits it’s “uncharted territory”, but if anyone can do it, Cindy can.

She whose motto is ‘why walk when you can gallop’ is certainly the right woman for the job, being a hard-nosed, ambitious, totally unshockable, unflappable, empowered, direct, no-nonsense businesswoman who smashed every glass ceiling in the US advertising world, before setting out on her own.

And as makelovenotporn is her current raison d’être, few doubt her determination or ability to get the job done, or as she puts it: “makelovenotporn is a nice problem to have.”

“And I’m a firm believer that people who say it can’t be done should get out of the way of the people who want to. That’s what motivates me.”

She attributes her Oxford college — Somerville (also the Oxford college of one Margaret Thatcher) — to helping cultivate her talent, and she absolutely raves about her time here.

“Somerville is such a pioneering college which celebrates individuality and encourages you to be yourself — far removed from the toffee-nosed black tie side of Oxford. The tutors were genuinely interested in what you had to say. And they have always supported me in wanting to change the world.”

Here to address TedxOxford last weekend with her makelovenotporn introduction, Cindy has already enrolled 100,000 people worldwide to her new website, but is keen to stress that it’s very early days yet and that subscribers are being invited in small batches to start with.

“We are testing everything as we go along because makelovenotporn needs to be a holistic experience.”

But despite its instant success even Cindy is amazed by how hard it’s been to get something ‘adult’ financed and backed.

“It’s amazing how hypocritical and puritanical the business world is about sex,” she says in exasperation. Getting media coverage has been much easier however, and wherever Cindy goes, publicity follows and subscriptions rise accordingly.

“This is a global issue and as sex always gets media coverage, we haven’t had to promote makelovenotporn at all, it promotes itself, “she says proudly.

Not that it’s an easy concept to get across and Cindy admits being made to feel “a pariah on many an occasion” not that that’s deterred her in the slightest.

“But why should it? Because sex is funny and messy and can be awkward but if you can’t have a laugh what’s the point because the same stuff happens to all of us. And that’s what we want to show, real people having real sex.”

But isn’t there a conflict of interests between the crusader and the businesswoman? Isn’t it hypocritical to be making profits out of something she’s campaigning for? “Not at all,” she says entirely unperturbed. “I think the way forward is for businesses to incorporate their values into their business models, instead of just giving a cheque to charity at the end of a good year.

“And I don’t pontificate — everything I talk about I do. Because I want to invent the future and, yes, this is a very big goal but I have to believe passionately in what I’m doing or you’d give up at the first hurdle.

“I’m a great believer in being your own filter and being clear about what you stand for, although the word education is the kiss of death,” she laughs. “But makelovenotporn is about demystifying sex, making it fun and allowing us to be generally more open about it. “And I, more than anyone, know that sexual egos are very fragile and it’s hard to talk about sex with a partner because you don’t want to derail someone, and you want to make them happy. So this is the real world of real life sex.”

But how is the uploaded content on makelovenotporn going to be so different to porn, I ask innocently enough.

“Have you watched hard core porn recently,” she asks, horrified at my naivety.

“I don’t even know where to start with that,” was the only printable thing she came up with, but let’s say Cindy doesn't consider hardcore porn to be the best role model for a mutually satisfying or enjoyable experience for sex in the real world.

“If you have a strong sense of who you are and what you stand for, there is nothing you can be ashamed of,” she adds.

“I have nothing to hide and am essentially unblackmailable. I’m just being who I am and want everyone to get to that stage. That’s what I have to remember.”