Mike Nicholson, the director of admissions at Oxford University, has this week admitted that in the past students had been accepted who, in his words, were ‘the rich and the thick’.

On the surface, a surprising statement, if not a little brave. Surely such a prestigious establishment of education whose standards are known across the world and symbolise Britain’s greatness at the forefront of research and teaching, could not have enrolled anyone who was any less than a beacon of intelligence. Naively, I have believed that students at any university, are admitted on the basis of intellect and not social standing and it does appear that for most university courses, there is a certain level of academic achievement that needs to be proved. The sticking point is the advantage that some children have in how they achieve.

A little closer to home, I watch with utter fascination at the choices that many of my friends are making to educate their children. It goes without saying that the most obvious choice that we make for our children, is to offer them the best that we can, given the circumstances that we are in.

For myself and my husband, the day that we were handed our first new-born son, it is fair to say that thoughts of schools, exams and extracurricular activities were not even registered. For us it was a simple choice, local nursery and local school. I can honestly say, that we did no research whatsoever into school catchment areas and league tables.

I guess we have been lucky that all three of our children are having such a positive experience at the primary school up the road, with almost all of their friends living within a one-mile radius. They are not geniuses by any stretch of the imagination. They do the work they are given and we are relatively diligent at making sure we know what’s going on. We spend several nights a week taking them to simple and local after-school activities and try to leave the weekends as free as possible of structured activities.

For some of my very good friends, it is a very different story and choice can be the ultimate double-edged sword. Siblings go to different schools, often miles apart and hours are spent doing school runs that in some cases cross counties. Evenings are spent wading through hours of homework and weekends are a long round of sports fixtures and even more homework. And for this pleasure, these parents get to flog themselves to near death to pay the fees. The children are educated to within and inch of their short lives and often the one thing that seems to be sacrificed is time to play at home, relax and actually enjoy being a child.

I don’t believe that a primary school-aged child needs to be grinding out hours of homework, often after a full-on seven-hour day, in order to achieve. I guess the ultimate question is ‘What is achievement?’ I don’t want to come over all socialist and fluffy but it has to be said that achievement varies from situation to situation.

A child that has had to pass an assessment aged four and educated with no limit on resources and encouragement has got such an enormous advantage on one who doesn't have the same benefits. Wherever you stand on the ethics behind private education, this is surely a fact that is hard to disagree with. For the record, I don’t have an issue with private education. I recognise that parents often make huge sacrifices to offer their children opportunity and that is completely their pre-rogative. The world is not a fair place. Period.

I believe that we are far too prescriptive in the education we give to our children and we accept too much as parents. Who says that just because you learnt to play an instrument and had Chinese lessons from age seven that you are going to turn out a happier and more successful person?

Let’s hope I’m not proved wrong in my more relaxed approach to parenting. When we’re stuck with three 30-somethings still living at home, I may well be wishing I’d suffered the wet Saturday afternoon Rugby practices and the reams of homework. I guess time will tell.