Born and bred Londoner Simon O’Neill heads back to the capital for a night of five-star luxury.

Samuel Johnson was a great man. But he didn’t get everything right.

The esteemed poet and author once said: “When a man is tired of London he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.”

As a Londoner born and bred, I wouldn’t go that far. I got very tired of London and left in 1991 with my young family, never to return as a resident.

The problem is that London’s positives are perfectly counterbalanced by its negatives.

Yes, it teems with culture and history, is vibrant, exciting and one of the most cosmopolitan places on earth etc etc.

But it’s also dirty, dangerous, overcrowded and unfriendly; and that’s very easy to grow tired of.

Despite having left without a backward glance almost 20 years ago, returning as a tourist is now a bi-annual treat for my wife and I and has allowed me to view my home city in a more positive light again.

The London experience becomes rose-tinted when you stay at a hotel like The Langham, with its effortless efficiency, understated luxury and incredible food. Not to mention its location, a stone’s throw from the West End’s shops and theatres, in Portland Place, just off Regent Street.

The 140-year-old hotel, which claims to have started the great English tradition of afternoon tea, has undergone an £80m restoration and grabs your attention from the moment you arrive in its cavernous new entrance lobby.

We stayed one night, nowhere near adequate if you want a proper London experience of shopping, sights and theatre. But it was enough for us to be seduced by the Langham’s charms, if not by the show we chose to see (Dylan Moran, don’t waste your money).

Even if your hotel budget is more three than five star, do eat at the hotel’s Landau restaurant, where the food is in a different class, even by West End standards. The pre-theatre dinner menu features breast of wood pigeon, slow cooked pheasant and braised pigs’ cheeks stuffed trotter.

There’s rump of lamb and steaks too for those with simpler tastes and the scallops were the best my wife had ever tasted. It’s also surprisingly reasonable, with two courses at £21.50 and three for £28.50. The sticky toffee pudding alone is worth the extra seven quid.

You get what you pay for here – fabulous rooms, two restaurants and a luxurious health and leisure club with pool – and unless you are a lottery winner, or a politician on expenses, the Langham is for that special treat, with weekend breaks at about £225 per night for two. On the basis of our stay, it’s worth it.

Waking up there on a sunny Sunday morning, I could almost see what old Mr Johnson meant.

The Langham Hotel, 1c Portland Place, London W1 london.langhamhotels.co.uk 020 7636 1000 Nearest tube: Oxford Circus