THE cool grey city of love, the play-pen of American counter-culture, the so-called friendliest city in the world and most certainly one of the most adored, romanticised and eulogised metropolises on Earth.

Yes, a lot of people have written about San Francisco.

And many more have fallen in love with its majestic cityscape, eccentric citizens and hedonistic nightlife as annual visitor figures of more than 16 million will testify.

My mission as a hard-headed seeker of truth and justice? To spend seven days and seven nights in San Francisco’s seductive grip and to refuse to be captivated by her ample architectural allure and rich culinary charms.

As a paid-up member of the MTV generation, I have to say I think this will be a doddle. Casual indifference is my default setting.

It’ll take more than a few hills and a couple of slabs of over-priced concrete to cut my through my mask of icy cold detachment – won’t it?

San Francisco, you have been challenged.

Unfortunately, the first chink in my armour occurs 90 minutes after disembarking from the 13-hour flight from Heathrow.

Freshly fingerprinted and processed by the welcoming folk at Homeland Security, I sit down on the lush green grass of Dolores Park, in the city’s Latin district, and find myself surrounded by palm trees and sun worshippers.

Although it’s September, this isn’t quite the cool grey city I had been warned to expect.

Instead the temperature is a clothes shedding 30C, I’m drinking a bottle of cold lager wrapped in a brown paper bag and my smile is as broad as the city’s sweeping skyline.

Already I fear I am falling in love with San Francisco.

And I soon discover it isn’t uncommon to find yourself surprised by idyllic leafy spaces such as Huntington Park or Levi’s Plaza Park as the city is undoubtedly one of the greenest in America.

Unlike the massive, monolithic sprawl of Los Angeles, San Francisco packs plenty into its famous 49 miles including 3,480 acres of parkland, 2,870 bars and dozens of world-famous landmarks.

There’s no doubt you will have seen some of them on the silver screen; however, the first thing that really strikes you about San Francisco is the city’s amazing topography.

Blessed by no fewer than 44 hills, travellers have a wealth of vantage points from which to get pristine pictures of the Golden City.

And, believe me, the views of the bay area, which feature the Oakland Bay Bridge, Alcatraz, and the iconic Golden Gate Bridge, are so rewarding that even the most frugal photographers will be flashing like Japanese tourists and returning home with snaps that look as if they accidentally switched cameras with David Bailey.

These same hills are also the reason that the city is burdened by a set of freakish microclimates which make clouds shoot by overhead as if they have been recorded on a time lapse camera. More importantly, they create the city’s iconic foggy backdrop which makes the Golden Gate Bridge look as if it is permanently performing on Top of the Pops and being serviced by the world’s biggest dry ice machine.

And while nature has been kind to San Francisco, the city’s planners haven’t exactly let the side down.

A huge chunk of cement it may be, but surely the city’s tallest skyscraper, the Transamerica Pyramid, is one of the most appealing buildings to have emerged from the 1960s/’70s obsession with Brutalist concrete creations.

Meanwhile City Hall, with its imposing granite grey and gold leaf dome, looks like Washington’s Capitol building has been transported to California and its intricate white interior is well worth a closer look.

Throw in the gleaming white edifice of Coit Tower (a 210ft tower on top of Telegraph Hill offering some of the best views of the bay), the brooding copper green flat iron Columbus Tower, and thousands of poetic wooden-clad Victorian homes and you have the perfect city for a series of afternoon strolls.

However, the rough diamond in the city’s tourism crown is undoubtedly Alcatraz.

Al Capone’s former home is by far the best maintained living and breathing museum I have ever had the pleasure to tour and puts our own similarly priced Tower of London experience to absolute shame.

Visiting on a wet and windy day only adds to the air of menace felt pacing around the prison’s former exercise yard.

Yet even more vivid are the audio tours of the prison’s cellblocks and warden’s offices which offer dramatic details on some of the prison’s truly ingenious Andy Dufrense-esque (remember The Shawshank Redemption?) escape attempts and also some of the bloodbaths.

And while the Golden City smiles during the daytime, it’s only when the sun goes down that it really bears its gleaming neon-lit gnashers.

If you fancy a swanky evening’s entertainment then the beautiful views at the Top of the Mark bar on the 19th floor of the Mark Hopkins Hotel will certainly float your boat.

However, in the Tonga Room of the Fairmont Hotel you might actually need one as the venue simulates a mass rainstorm on an artificial lake every 20 minutes, while the clientele sip over-priced drinks inside dozens of cosy thatched huts But the real pleasure lies in the bar’s Bora Bora Horror cocktails which would make Raoul’s in Jericho green with envy.

Those looking for an authentic taste of America’s thriving dive bar scene should sample the dark and unpretentious delights on offer at Tunnel Top in Bush Street.

However, my favourite San Franciscan nightspot is Amnesia in Valencia Street which looks seedier than the Moulin Rouge and serves up a heady brew of live gypsy jazz and bluegrass which keeps dozens of locals returning night after night.

And while the city doesn’t lack for daytime or evening attractions, what really edges San Francisco ahead of Chicago or New York as a holiday destination is its laid back, West Coast attitude and a liberal, eccentric spirit which creates such ludicrous anomalies as the world’s crookedest street, its annual free peace music festival and the fact that it was the birthplace of such dubious American institutions as blue jeans and topless waitressing.

If New York is the home of the American Dream, then San Francisco is home to the American daydream.

A daydream so pleasant you’ll hate it when you are bumped back into consciousness at Heathrow.

I love you San Francisco, you had me at ‘hello’.

Getting there: Chris flew direct from London Heathrow to San Francisco International for £495 return with United Airlines.

Log on to flybmi.com Stating there: Chris stayed at Elements Hostel in Mission Street in San Francisco’s Latin District for £16.50 per night. Located in one of the city’s hippest districts, the hostel is a magnet for local revellers as it also hosts one of San Francisco’s best rooftop bars.

What to do: Alcatraz: Sample the brutal isolation experienced by Capone and Altman as they resided at The Rock just a short hop away from the busy hum of one of the world’s greatest cities. Captivating.

Golden Gate Bridge: The architectural equivalent of Katie Price – big, orange, and unavoidable.

Power to the Peaceful festival: Golden Gate Park plays host to a free music festival every September pulling in 70,000 people and featuring names such as Alanis Morissette and Spearhead.

AT&T Park: The dingy corporate name for the quayside home of the San Francisco Giants baseball club.

Coit Tower: 210ft art deco tower on top of elegraph Hill built in 1933 at the bequest of Lillie Hitchcock Coit.

Popscene: 330 Ritch Street in SoMa. A weekly club night for local hipsters who show their love for British indie, Mod, New Wave and electro music by dressing in vintage clothes and NHS spectacles. If you’re British, you will be adored.

Lombard Street: The world’s most crooked street. An interesting novelty of eight tightly knit bends; seasoned tourists however may also want to visit Vermont Street in the Potrero Hill neighbourhood which also lays claim to this title.

City Hall: Opened in 1915 and home to the fifth largest dome in the world. A great spectacle from outside or inside and unexpectedly free to go in.

Fillmore Auditorium: 1805 Geary Street. The home of live music in San Francisco. Hosted Hendrix, Cream and The Doors, it is always worth checking the listings guides for this venue as it is a staple in North American tours for bands such as the Arctic Monkeys and Manic Street Preachers.

Cable cars: Overpriced, overcrowded and overrated; however a visit to the city isn’t quite complete without riding these rickety trams and clinging to the handrails.