Rough Diamond

Comedian Arthur Smith describes himself as a “pin-up for your middle-aged lady in the Shires, and Radio 4’s bit of rough,” before collapsing with laughter. “That’s how I like to see myself anyway, although I’m probably too old to be a bit of rough now,” the 55-year-old says in a voice deeper than Joan Rivers on a bad day.

Coming to The Theatre in Chipping Norton tonight, he’s expecting “lots of retired head-mistress types” and is quite excited about the prospect. He calls it a “gentleman’s tour” taking his time to wander about the country entertaining us, and choosing the venues himself.

While in Chippy, for example, he aims to go to Adlestrop and recite the poem by Edward Thomas – very highbrow, then. “Well I like to plan my pursuits around the venue, but I’m doing a programme on yodelling for Radio 2 at the moment as well,” he says, “so I’ll be doing that in the morning.”

Anything out of the ordinary then, like his Radio 4 programme Arthur Smith’s Balham Bash which is broadcast from his house. “I’ll have a comedian in the bedroom and Scouting For Girls playing in my kitchen, but that’s what it’s always been like at my house more or less, although I’m not a party animal any more now that I’ve given up the booze and have a partner.

“In fact if you can’t drink and chase women it’s not much of a party,” he laughs. ”But no, I’m a sociable person anyway, I just go to bed earlier these days. Gone are the days of drinking in Soho on Thursday and waking up in Buenos Aires on Sunday.”

What he means is that since his near-death from pancreatitis a decade ago, he’s now teetotal, which doesn’t seem to have dampened his adventurous spirit in any way. “I like doing things that interest me and if I have a reputation for doing things that are a bit different, then good. I like doing weird things and going to weird places. But then there’s a lot of things I say no to, like Celebrity Come Dine With Me. Can you imagine anything worse?” he asks me. “They’d probably make me serve canapes to Peter Stringfellow or something,” he shudders. “I’d rather rip my right leg off.”

That’s hardly surprising when you consider Arthur’s comedy route. Fiercely anti-establishment, he was one of the first stand-ups at The Comedy Store when it opened in 1979. “Back then the comedy circuit in clubs was up North with men in sparkly jackets. It was very sexist, homophobic humour. But then Thatcher came along and we became the punks of comedy.” Alongside the likes of Alexei Sayle, Rick Mayall and Ben Elton, Arthur Smith helped pave the way for comedy as it is today.

Which is why he still comperes the long-running Hackney Empire New Act of the Year competition final, which has seen the likes of Russell Brand and Eddie Izzard come through the ranks. So have there been any performances that stick in his mind? “There was the Swedish tap-dancer who was rather floored by the carpeted venue,” he laughs “and Sylvia Bottleknocker who could open a bottle of beer with her breasts, which was superb for all of two minutes, but she didn’t have a lot of other material.”

As for his current show At Large, Arthur says he gets lots of his material out of the local paper. “In Tavistock there was a story about a man who was trapped under a wardrobe for three days and survived by drinking whisky. It was obvious to everyone else that’s what he’d told the wife when actually he was drunk, bashed into it and it fell on him,” he guffaws.

“But basically I know how to play an audience and what gets a laugh,” he says, condensing a 30-year career into one sentence. “So I’m up for it and if they throw bottles at me in Chippy I’ll just throw them back. I’ll even go topless if you want.”

I’m not sure the retired headmistresses can take it, Arthur.