ANALYSIS of the voting patterns in this year's Eurovision song contest shows there is little appetite for European Union enlargement to include Turkey and Ukraine, while Russia's standing in western Europe is low.
In a tongue-in-cheek research report published yesterday, investment bank ING has analysed which countries vote for songs in the 51st Eurovision song contest last month, won by Finland's monster-themed rock band Lordi, for clues on the health of relations between EU members and outsiders.
"The songs are usually universally bad, sung by bands you have never heard of, but 'song quality' does represent perhaps half of the distributed votes, " ING economist Charles Robertson said in the report.
"The other half of the vote is determined by countries voting for their favourite country, providing it is in the competition."
Turkey began its EU accession talks last October, after decades of campaigning for membership of the bloc. But in Eurovision, the Turks gave the most votes to EU outsiders Bosnia, Armenia and Ukraine.
Ukraine is another would-be EU member, but Eurovision results seemed to suggest the bloc is not that keen to admit it.
Kathryn's cow returns to the parade
LLOYDS TSB Scotland was pleased to see the return of its cow, Fruit Smooothie, that was designed by 12-year-old Kathryn Pennel from Dunfermline.
The bank sponsored the fibreglass cow in the recent Cow Parade Edinburgh, where it was one of 94 display cows.
Unfortunately, Fruit Smooothie disappeared from outside the bank's Hanover Street branch in Edinburgh.
To make matters worse, the young girl who designed the cow hadn't even had a chance to see her on display.
Luckily, Fruit Smooothie turned up four days after disappearing, but minus a leg. Cow Parade organisers took her in for some treatment and she has recently been returned to Hanover Street, two weeks after her disappearance.
Manus Fullerton, director of Lloyds TSB Scotland, said: "It's great to have her back. We've put her inside the branch where she should be much safer."
Hairy Haggises' run is family affair, by George
DESCENDANTS of Scottish rugby hero George Frew are running the Edinburgh marathon on Sunday to mark the centenary of his first international game. The "Hairy Haggis Team" will run the 26.2-mile course in relay to raise money for Bowel Cancer UK, a charity that is dedicated to supporting those affected by the disease which prematurely claimed the life of Frew.
The unsung hero's grandson, Michael McCabe, is captain of the Hairy Haggises and has run all three Edinburgh marathons.
He will be joined by his brother, Andy, cousin Andy Frew, and the children of two more cousins - Caroline Frew and Isobel McLeod.
Business Diary wishes the Haggises the best of luck.
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