It seems strange that it should take a royal to bridge the gap between ordinary people and policy makers. However, yesterday Princess Anne was the magnet for a meeting that drew people from every level of government and the NHS to the same table as local charities and relatives who care for sick family members.

How the machinery of councils and health boards should turn in order to support those who care for loved ones in the community was the theme of the discussion.

From the beginning, Princess Anne, president of The Princess Royal Trust for Carers, tried to root the debate on the very different people who need help as they try to look after their mother, grandmother or husband in the community.

She said: "Patently I have the opportunity to talk to a lot of carers and see them in situ and that is very interesting and it constantly reminds one that every individual is different because they have different abilities to cope.

"Some no doubt thought they would be able to manage perfectly well and cannot, and those who you would have thought would never cope actually manage relatively well.

"There must be common ground and we have to concentrate on that, but that should not end up being a tick box' (exercise) because that would completely overlook the fact that all these situations are unique and need to be listened to."

There were examples from those at the meeting, in Edinburgh's Balmoral Hotel, of times when policies had filtered down to meet the specific needs of those who were struggling on the ground and had changed their lives.

Speaking afterwards, Sebastian Fisher, chief executive of the group Voice of Carers Across Lothian, described a family who had once found no option but to put their son, in his 30s, into a care home while they took a holiday. However, he continued, as a result of "direct payments" - a scheme for giving carers and the disabled money with which they can buy the services they think they most need - the family had been able to pay for support workers to join them in the south of France, so for the past three years their son has been able to travel with them.

That said, there are an estimated 480,000 carers in Scotland and anecdotes of cases where the cracks had been filled raised the question of who was still falling through the gaps because - according to those at the meeting - there are chasms in support.

Tales ranged from respite services being better in some regions than others to whether some health professionals even knew to give relatives a telephone number that they could call for more support.

Professor William Stevely, the interim chairman of NHS Ayrshire and Arran, spoke candidly of a very successful initiative identifying carers in East Ayrshire and how it highlighted the fact the rest of the region was missing people.

"I think the challenge that we have to face is that the best practice in one area is rolled out," he said, continuing: "One of the agencies in doing that is GPs.

We have one general practice which is extremely active in this area and handed patients financial support ... but to persuade others to do the same is proving rather difficult."

Colin Williams, chairman of West Dunbartonshire Carers Centre, was similarly concerned about the interest taken by family doctors in supporting carers. He said: "We should not be paying for postage stamps for GPs to do mailshots to identify carers. We currently do that because they do not buy into the carers agenda."

Councils also faced criticism, with issues surrounding their failure to talk to carers and carers' organisations about what they could do to help repeatedly raised during the discussion.

As part of a new deal under the SNP administration, Scotland's local authorities draw up their own aims to reflect the needs of the local area - albeit within a framework set by the Scottish Government. These local plans are known as "single outcome agreements".

Ruth Clark, the assistant director for Scotland of The Princess Royal Trust for Carers, told the meeting that just four of Scotland's 32 local authorities had made real reference to carers in their single outcome agreement.

Margaret Jackson, manager of Perth and Kinross Carers Centre, offered an explanation as to why. She said in her area no-one was invited to speak-up for what carers might need when the single outcome agreement was being drafted. It seemed her boss was only invited to attend the meeting where the finished document was signed.

Ronnie McColl, health and wellbeing spokesman for council body Cosla, was willing to concede single outcome agreements might have been a tad rushed. "Maybe the first stab at it was not as good as it could have been," he said. "There was not a lot of time for local government to consult their partner agencies."

How to address this issue, and whether it mattered or not, dominated the session to such an extent that Paul Weddell, who chairs Carers of West Lothian and is a carer himself, remarked at the end: "I am disappointed we concentrated so much on single-outcome agreements. If you asked a carer what is a single-outcome agreement they are going to cock their head and say: What has it got to do with me?'"

But of course the words on these documents are seen as levers for cranking the machinery of councils and health boards until there is more consistent support for carers on the ground.

Scotland's carers are said to provide services that would otherwise cost the taxpayer £5.3bn, so keeping them on their feet also keeps pressure off social work departments and the NHS, oiling the very machine they depend upon.

As Princess Anne told the meeting at the end: "If you can understand where carers come from and how they can be your partners, then actually everyone is better off."

It doesn't need to be in the presence of royalty, but more talking at every level needs to be done.