I’m not too sure what got into Her Royal Highness Princess Kate of Middleton this week, but trying to fool the world by photoshopping family portraits is never a great idea.

For those unaware of her image manipulation, on Mother’s Day, Kate posted a picture on social media, purportedly taken by her husband, with her beaming regally amidst her smiling children.

It was a lovely picture and should have put paid to any fears that she was still struggling after recent surgery. Except that it wasn’t just her Harley Street surgeons who had been doctoring things.

People zoomed in on the picture and there were anomalies. The cuff of a jumper, an oddly angled digit or two, an heir or two out of place.

Rather than take the heat out of any speculation, all it did was make people suspicious. It’s all rather curious but just goes to show that you cannot fool anyone these days. Or can you…

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I often get asked to sort out football team photos. It’s a dying art and needs a keen eye for detail. I won’t name the team, or years, but there are three team pictures which I doctored undetected.

In one, a steward was standing at the back on the main stand, immediately behind the squad as they tottered on benches and smiled for the camera. In the final version, the hi-vis imposter was gone. Nobody has ever spotted the slightly wonky beams in the stand.

In the second, the manager wanted to appoint a new head scout, but hadn’t squared it with the chairman. With everyone assembled and facing me, I was horrified to see the scout sprint from the dressing room behind them, join the standing middle row and pose for the picture.

He then legged it away and only the staff on that end of the picture knew he had ever been standing there. The chairman sat in the middle row the whole time, smiling in blissful ignorance of the imposter until he saw it on my laptop an hour later, shouted at me a little bit and made me photoshop the scout off the picture. Nobody knew. The scout somehow got the job and I had to put him back in!

Oxford Mail:

But my favourite involved a well-travelled and mildly famous midfielder who was chuffed to be invited into the team picture after a spell on trial, presuming he was about to be offered a full-time contract. If you’re in the team pic then you are signing, right?

Well, no.

What he didn’t know was that one of the strikers had called in ill that day and we needed a body in the picture so we could photoshop that player’s head into the line-up.

I have NEVER known a footballer shout at a manager so much as when he was told that not only was he not being offered a deal, but also that his body was in the team picture and his head wasn’t.

A right royal rumpus…