So who missed me? No one it seems well thanks a lot. Two weeks in Tenerife called so that’s where I have been hiding. Sun, sea and……well that’s it really.

Narrowly managed to avoid the old Icelandic ash situation, I felt for some folk at Tenerife airport who had been stranded for a couple of days due to no fault of their own, or the airline come to that.

On things relating to drama, keen types will know from previous blogs we and a few selected chums are orf to see Fun Run by local playwright Joe Graham at the Old Fire Station this week. As previously mentioned the play is being staged by the Balancing Act theatre company. A fully detailed review of this brand new comedy will be featuring in next week’s blog, so keep paying attention. Fun Run is at the OFS Studio from 18th-22nd May.

Due to my much-needed break in the Canaries, retirement is such hard work you know, I missed the drama group AGM but I hear Mike Lacey was voted in as Chairman, congratulations Mike. Whatever else was discussed I haven’t heard but rest assured all facts will be passed on as soon as I know.

We are entering a short play into the ODN festival this year and the dress rehearsal is this Tuesday, 18th May. The play is called The Summer of my Thirtieth Year by Mark Rees and is directed by Susi Dalton.

All are welcome to come and see this open dress rehearsal at Southmoor Village Hall at 8pm. Entry is free and we should be glad if you would stay and join us for a drink and a chat afterwards. The cast would welcome an audience, which always makes such a big difference to those performing, and we would appreciate your feedback afterwards.

Talking about the ODN festival, this year it is on from 31st May until the 5th June. Well worth a visit to the Unicorn Theatre in Abingdon. More details on

Glad to see the election is over at last and we have got the Lib-Dem influence in government, something nobody voted for, the next few months/years will be interesting if nothing else. At least it can’t be as bad as the last few years under our Gordon.

To more educational matters: On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed. On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?' And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it..'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.