WHAT I’M CALLED: I am called many names: not all are polite. The one I would prefer you to remember is Crayfish Bob.

MY AGE: I’m 57 (in the shade). I feel younger, but I’m not.

WHAT I DO: I’ve always been one to challenge poor service, whether commercial or governmental. There’s a lot of it about: from the rip-off mobile phone operators to the incompetent public-sector. I could see that poor service had led to a problem with invasive crayfish and I could see that the situation was not improving. I got involved. You can get more information at the website crayaway.com

WHERE I LIVE: I like small spaces in different places. I like waking up in different spots. Through much of the year I use my small space on the Thames: my narrowboat.

WHO I LOVE: I love anyone who sees more to life than just having a healthy bank balance and some designer shoes.

MY HAPPIEST YEAR: Life has had many highs and lows. As I am the Eternal Optimist, next year will be my happiest yet.

MY DARKEST MOMENT: Setting off across a dangerously fast flowing river and finding that my electric motor was too weak to deal with the current. Not to worry. Then, as the weir loomed, I found that my petrol-driven outboard motor was also not working (water was in the fuel). I managed to throw my grappling hook out and catch the last of the wooden piles that herald the weir, saving myself from probable death 20 seconds later.

MY PROUDEST BOAST: I’ve slept in Lemmy’s bed! That is Lemmy of Motorhead fame, although I ended up in his scratcher after seeing him with Hawkwind. I hasten to add that Lemmy was not in the bed with me: he kindly offered me his single-pit and went out for the night. It’s a long story. Stacia made me a hot chocolate. I was 17.

MY BIGGEST REGRET: Too much time spent dwelling on regrets is not good for the mind. What’s done is done: learn and move on.

MY WORST WEAKNESS: It’s that monkey, the Eternal Optimist again. I continue to think that I can do much more in a day than is actually possible. It just ends up with me under pressure to complete my schedule. Everything being in balance, maybe that weakness is also a strength?

LESSON LEARNED: Humour is a great tool to have when travelling and has helped me out of some sticky situations. I’m bald and I know the word for “baldy” in many languages. Greeting a bald Greek policeman with “keraflas” (Greek for baldy), got me off a possible speeding ticket, for example. Word of warning: don’t try the humour route in Germany, especially Frankfurt, as it doesn’t always work!

MY DULLEST JOB: Single-handedly shelling endless crayfish to produce the tail meat is pretty dull.

MY LIFELONG HERO: Darwin seemed to have woken a few folk up so he gets my vote.

MY OLDEST FRIEND: Beer of Arabia is a toy bear that has been around since I was a baby. He’s still about, poking his head out of the toy box of my youngest descendants.

PERSON I KNOW WITH THE WIDEST SMILE: Roger Steer: the Abingdon lock-keeper. He has a wide laugh too!

MY FAVOURITE DREAM: To see my company, Crayaway, go bust through lack of stock.