MUCH debate at Oxford Crown Court this week about the Justice Secretary Ken Clarke’s plans to allow TV cameras into courts.

In the all too frequent lulls between court cases – perfect for TV ad breaks – barristers and court staff ruminated about the implications.

Barristers have already decided how to eke out an extra few quid from the scheme.

Just as snooker players now have advertising patches sewn on their waistcoats, so prosecutors and defence lawyers could sign sponsorship deals to get branded gowns.

Having decided that a Match of the Day-style highlights package would be the best way to save viewers from hours of boring legal wrangles, one court clerk came up with the inspired suggestion of a panel of retired judges picking out some “shocking defending” à la Alan Hansen.

New crime-fighting tips from West Oxfordshire’s top cop. It seems Ch Insp Colin Paine has had trouble with thieves inside Witney police station, so has adopted a low-grade, but practical, approach.

He tweets: “Found a great way of keeping your milk safe at work. Put your fresh milk into an empty milk container with a use by date of 3 weeks ago.”

Wantage MP Ed Vaizey was at the BBC Proms at the Royal Albert Hall when anti-Israel protestors disrupted a concert by the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra last week.

But it seems the hecklers were thwarted by their own boorishness.

The Minister tweeted: “Demonstrators seem to have turned entire audience pro Israel.”

Hell hath no fury like a classical musical lover irritated.

LOVELY to see comedian David Walliams thrashing his way through Oxford as he swims down the Thames for Comic Relief.

But the Little Britain star seemed to have a distinct sense of humour failure when each time he heaved himself out of the river, he was immediately pounced on by reporters.

The usually chirpy actor sounded miserable and defeated when interviewed by BBC Oxford on Wednesday. He had been struck with a severe bout of “Thames tummy” after swallowing vast gulps of the dirty brown water – which may now get dirtier and browner as a result.

He also said the river was colder than expected.

Respect where respect is due, but what temperature and water quality did he expected from the Thames in September?