LADIES, prepare to be jealous. I, singleton Sue accomplished the almost impossible this week. I managed to discover not one, but two eligible, charming, sweet, professional, single and, even more surprisingly, straight men.

One was a dentist, the other a doctor, and I managed to clock up some serious alone time with both of them.

Impressed? Don’t be. I’m still undecided on the best word to describe both of these meetings, but I’m sure it sits somewhere between embarrassing and humiliating. Here’s why: Mr Perfect number one was actually my new dentist. And being a dentist’s daughter, you would think this is a potential match made in heaven. Just think of the number of stories we could have shared, like how much fun it was doing my homework in the office while people in the next room were screaming in terror.

It’s just a shame that during most of my visit he had his fingers in my mouth fitting me with a hideous mouth guard to stop me grinding my teeth in my sleep.

So, not only is this fella left with a lasting image of me which isn’t all that dissimilar to the coloured plastic grin of a beefy boxer, I think I also managed to either spit or drool on him every time I tried to return conversation.

Never mind, I thought, he lives in Australia which is too far away anyway.

So, holiday over, hideous mouth guard safely tucked into my luggage I hopped a plane back to Oxford, where I met up with Mr Perfect number two.

To protect his identity I’ll just refer to him as Dr Lovely.

Dr Lovely probably refers to me as Patient Klutz. Reason being, I’ve only seen Dr Lovely twice. The first, was about two years ago when I had managed to slam my own thumb into a car door, leaving it resembling a juicy ripe plum in both colour and shape.

Back then Dr Lovely had the unenviable job of putting a pin through my thumbnail to relieve the pressure. What a lovely way to meet. “So do you slam your thumbs in doors often”?

Mind you, I managed to top that this week when I accidentally stepped backwards onto a coat hanger, managing to snag the hook into my foot, tearing a hole about an inch wide in my heel.

So there I was, back in Dr Lovely’s office again, face down on the table with my foot in the air as the poor chap had to perform yet another unenviable task of poking a needle into the sole of my foot before doing some quick repair work.

The good thing is he remembered me; the bad thing is, he remembered why he remembered me.

Oh well, if all else fails in the romance department, I guess Dr Lovely and I can both look forward to another meeting next year, when with my luck I will have managed to realise my current greatest fear – accidentally swallowing the hideous mouth guard in my sleep.

  • Hear Sue on Jack 106FM’s Morning Glory from 6am.