Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Insider's third annual alternative New Year Honours List, giving awards to those overlooked by The Queen.

  • The Laughing in the Face of Adversity Award - Richard Thurston
  • With his back yard on the brink of flooding, the chairman of Osney Island Residents' Association remained polite, courteous and good-humoured throughout the summer chaos. His calm and collected leadership put local authorities to shame.
  • The Incommunicado Award - Keith Mitchell
  • A perennial award-winner, Oxfordshire County Council leader Mr Mitchell picks up a gong for difficulties in keeping in touch with people. Some remarked it became impossible to get hold of 'Kaiser' Keith - but no wonder when emails sent to his account were bounced back and his mobile kept switching itself off mid-conversation. Let's hope Santa got him a pay-as-you-go.
  • The Jonathan Aitken-sponsored Disgraced Politician Award - Olive McIntosh-Stedman
  • It turned out loveable Olive, an Oxfordshire county councillor, cheated the system and ended up receiving more council tax benefit than she was entitled to. She was found guilty at Oxford Crown Court after a three-day trial costing £14,000.
  • The Michael Fish Award for Meteorological Genius - Hilary Benn
  • "What we can't stop is the rain", was the Environment Secretary's assessment of the weather on a visit to flood-hit Osney Island in Oxford. Brilliant.
  • The Rhinoceros Award for Thick Skin - Jean Fooks
  • Fortnightly refuse collections, wheelie bins, black sacks and rats and there was even a court case. The switch from weekly waste rounds had it all, but throughout a year of moaning and personal insults she remained a resilient woman whose job it was to convince us it was the right decision.
  • The Making a Mountain out of a Molehill Award - Annie Skinner and Eric Murray
  • These two formed Collect Refuse in Oxford Weekly (Crow) - a pressure group campaigning for a return to weekly waste collections in Oxford. Predictably, it has been as successful as a chocolate teapot.
  • The We Never Saw That One Coming Award - Oxfordshire County Council
  • Despite saying throughout the year they were undecided on how to get rid of our rubbish - and even pretending to be interested in alternative waste disposal methods - County Hall eventually said it favoured building a whacking great incinerator to burn it.
  • The Kim Jong-il-Sponsored Democracy in Action Award - Oxfordshire County Council
  • So scared were some at County Hall of losing their power base in a shake-up of local government, it got all rather personal. At one time it looked like Mr Mitchell et al would be turfed out, leaving Oxford City Council to run the city as a unitary authority. Alas not. But it was a battle worth savouring - especially the personal insults.
  • The Mary Celeste Award - Oxford City Council Liberal Democrat Group
  • Another year, another defection or two, or three, or four. Four have left since the party took control of the council in May 2006. Oddly, they still run the Town Hall but with fewer councillors than Labour. But for how much longer?

Happy New Year.