OKAY, so here are the facts... Last Wednesday marked the completion of 18 months of building work as Bicester’s £70m new town centre opened.

This much-anticipated scheme includes a huge new Sainsbury’s, a Vue cinema, and over the next few months, new retailers and three new restaurants. And that’s in addition to what’s already there.

The ‘old’ Bicester and its town centre were, and still are, worthy of a visit. Loads of charming restaurants and pubs – I could, and have, happily spent an evening there.

There is of course Bicester Village, but for me, that’s like visiting Disneyland Paris – a kind of retail freak show that’s there more for the tourists than the locals.

So I like the ‘real’ Bicester.

It’s only 20 minutes out of Oxford city centre and the road links are great. If you have a car. And let me repeat that in bold – if you have a car. Because if you don’t, you might just as well daydream about travelling to New York for a night out.

In fact, just relying on public transport, I think it probably is easier to travel to Paris or Berlin, Geneva or Madrid than it is to take a bus to Bicester.

Well over £70m may have been coughed up to kickstart the revival of the town but none of that’s going to make a ha’pence of difference if no-one can get there. Or get out again.

On Wednesday evening, I had a wander around the old and the new and very impressive it was too. But trying to take a bus there and back proved a nightmare. Especially back. One bus an hour!

I never use exclamation marks in copy but I feel more than justified on this occasion. And you know why? Because I visibly aged trying to leave its town centre. I couldn’t find where the bus stops were and when I did, each one (and there were only two) proudly announced I was going to have to wait 58 minutes.

I’ve been in Mongolia, without a car, and found it easier to take a camel-train to civilisation than I ever could have found a bus in Bicester to take me to Summertown.

So if any kind of return is expected on this £70m investment, Oxford’s bus companies are going to have to wake up to the fact that the service they currently offer is tantamount to insulting.

Damn it – it’s easier to get to London and back, 24 hours a day, than it is to say to friends and loved ones: “Hey, I’ve got a great idea, let’s all go Bicester tonight for a curry and some beers and, because we’re responsible, let’s take the bus...”

Face it, the way things are at the moment, organising a coach trip to Buenos Aires for a chicken jalfrezi and a pint or two of Cobra would be less hassle.