OVER the years I have learned to expect the unexpected and never be surprised by the actions or reactions of the wonderful human race. But here’s something new.

Alasdair de Voil spends most days dressed as the Mad Hatter of Alice in Wonderland fame. Complete with long coat and colourful over-sized hat with the 10/6d label, he guides visitors around the city for a modest sum. He is not easy to miss.

We met in Radcliffe Square where, with his customary enthusiasm, he revealed his future plans. He hopes to secure election to the city council as Mad Hatter independent. All he needs is to persuade 10 voters in his city centre ward to nominate him and he’ll be lined up for the spring elections. Finding ten should not be impossible for this personable young man.

Not wishing to be the spectre at the feast, I didn’t warn him that polling day might bring the world crashing down on his massive hat, label et al, his dreams shattered as voters retreated to their traditional parties. On the other hand...

PERHAPS the young Chinese couple were walking too close to the road as they crossed Magdalen Bridge. Maybe the cyclist was riding too near the pavement.

Whatever the reason, the Chinese girl’s expensive mobile phone was knocked from her grasp and with an impressive bounce and loop, landed in the road.

The wheels of two buses and a car ran over the phone. All we could do was wait until the road was clear.

Eventually the young man ventured into the road and picked up what should have been a mangled mess. There was superficial damage but all seemed to be working, although their worried oriental expressions remained.

I was then guilty of trotting out the worst of clichés.

“Phones can be replaced – you can’t,” I said, before immediately wishing I hadn’t.

Leave the wise old sage stuff to those of us from the orient, their expressions seemed to say, before they crossed the road and headed for the botanical gardens.

Anything to escape.

CLOSED due to staffing issue. These words were on a notice in the window of Glance, a fashion clothes shop in Westgate Centre. It was brief to the point of terse, yet likely to stir the curious and those with an over dramatic imagination. I can’t wait to know what circumstances the word ‘issue’ covered.

FINALLY my apologies for confusing Magdalen Road in east Oxford with the much shorter city centre Magdalen Street (Cabbages & Kings, February 8).

The error was pointed out by one of our faithful readers. She didn’t insist I write 100 lines promising to do better, but perhaps I should. Sorry!