Well, I’ve finally decided to take even more exercise and am currently engaged in risking life and limb by having the sheer temerity to walk on the pavements around Oxford.

True, I do risk seriously reducing my lifespan by taking part in this high-risk sport but, hey, I’m an adrenaline junkie and bungee jumping and wing-walking are for wimps and are now everyday sports for centenarians.

Plus, I still have excellent reactions for my age and well-tuned 360-degree sensory perception, honed to perfection by years of avoiding female trolley-pushers in Tesco hypermarkets, so my latest venture holds no — well, very little — fear for me.

It’s true that insurance companies are giving me a wide berth, but I laugh in the face of death and serious injury and my family are financially well cared for, so… bring it on you kamikaze cyclists, who try to catch me out by cycling up and down pavements, deliberately using no lights and dressing in dark colours in the dark.

I warn you that I will retaliate with a walking stick ‘accidentally’ rammed through the spokes of your front wheels if you enter my comfort zone, so be it on your head.

Beware, you have been warned!

MICK HEAVEY, Oxford Road, Old Marston, Oxford