I do not doubt that Chris Payne was not perceived as a “half-witted, semi-illiterate ignoramus” during his tenure with the “Old Bill” in Rose Hill, nor that the good people of that area mostly seemed pretty pleased with his work.

Nonetheless, I should not mind a quid – to be passed on to charity, of course – for every time I have witnessed police officers commit orthographical, grammatical and punctuation errors nor, for that matter, attempting to provide me with false information about a point of law, etc.

Moreover, I should gladly accept another pound sterling or even a Euro for each instance of their arguing the toss after I have corrected them, often supporting my claim with evidence easily sufficiently incontrovertible to stand up in a court of law.

By the way, I am not sure that such hyper-corrections as “he… got my colleagues and I a mention” are yet academically seen as acceptable alternatives and at least a comma or two would not have come amiss in the “Thanks yes I’ll have a pint of Double Diamond.”

Anyway, far more fascinating than that was Mr Payne’s revelation that a future Duke served briefly with the Met.

DAVID DIMENT, Riverside Court, Oxford