I USED to think that if anyone ever touched me I would say ‘there’s the door, use it’. But it’s very difficult when you’re involved in that kind of relationship.

They seem like real charmers at first and they get you in a position where you care about them.

What happened for me was that he was really sweet at first. I should have realised sooner, but I was besotted by that point.

He started to hurt me within the first couple of months and became extremely violent towards the end.

He had left his job and had nothing to do. That’s when it was getting worse and worse, when he had all this free time on his hands.

He started to get very possessive and didn’t want me to contact anyone.

He was going on my computer and then he used to be sat outside County Hall when I came out.

And he did things like ripping all my clothes, snapping all the heels off my shoes and pulling all the phones out of the wall.

In the end I was absolutely scared to death, and I didn’t want anything to happen to my children.

A couple of times I went up to my mum’s and should have told her. But I was too scared of the repercussions. I can’t tell you what I went through.

I did try to leave him and once I had even packed all his things up and asked him to go, but he always played on my emotions.

He threatened to kill himself and was on the window sill trying to jump out of my third-floor bedroom window.

Because I cared about him I tried to reason with him, but the only way I could reason with him was to stay with him.

We were in Witney on one occasion and it was very similar to what happened on the day of the assault. He picked me up and put me in the car and then he just attacked me – he kicked me in the side and punched me in the face, and then throttled me.

The next day was my dad’s birthday and I had to wear make-up and a scarf to cover the bruises.

I was driving from Madley Park to Oxford Hill and he had hidden somewhere on the main road in Madley Park.

He came right up behind me and turned in front of me, pushing me off the road.

In the end I was battered and bruised every day. My arms were black and blue, and it’s only now I can take my cardigan off.

Sometimes he was one of the nicest people you could ever meet, but then he would turn. You could see it in his eyes.

I saw it that night (at the Carpenters Arms) and I was terrified.

I don’t know why he turned, but he started being really aggressive and was saying all sorts of things. He was a lot bigger than me and he wouldn’t let me go.

When he picked me up (in a fireman’s lift), I thought he was going to throw me into the road – into traffic – and he was telling me he was going to kill me.

And then, when I got home, he had rampaged through the house. All my personal belongings were everywhere and he had left a hangman’s noose on my pillow.

I didn’t know what he was capable of. Leaving that on my pillow was shocking.

I knew it was getting bad and I had to do something.

At first I was too scared to come forward, and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I feel safer now and it was worth doing because it makes sure he’s not there to hurt anyone else.

But I know if I had left it any longer to contact the police, the story would have been very different. I’m convinced I wouldn’t be around to tell the story.

People who suffer domestic violence have got to do something about it. They have got to come forward and tell somebody.

My message is that you’re not alone. There are people who will help you if you are in a violent relationship.

If I had left it any longer to contact the police, the story would have been very different.

  • If you are suffering from domestic abuse, contact the helpline on 0800 731 0055 or visit reducingtherisk.org.uk

THE COURT CASE

Dale Clack, 43 was jailed for a year at Oxford Crown Court yesterday for assaulting his ex-partner outside a Witney pub.

Clack, of Stow Avenue, Witney, admitted assaulting Louise Chapman by beating, criminal damage and trying to get Ms Chapman to drop the charges by intimidating her daughter.

The assault took place outside the Carpenters Arms in Newland on April 16.

He picked up Ms Chapman, who is cabinet member for children, young people and families and is also vice-chairman of West Oxfordshire District Council, in a fireman’s lift and threatened to kill her.

He then went to her house and punched a hole in the bathroom door.

Police arrested Clack before releasing him on bail with a condition not to contact Ms Chapman, but he texted her daughter, Holly, 23, the next day and later visited her at work.

He was also given a restraining order preventing him from contacting Louise Chapman.