Not since a boy wizard strayed into Hogwarts has a book captured the public imagination quite like Dan Brown's hugely enjoyable historical conspiracy thriller The Da Vinci Code. Boasting worldwide sales in excess of 40 million copies, the book is a literary phenomenon, which has enraged religious groups, infuriated scholars and propelled Brown to the top of the bestseller lists, via the High Court.

Riding into cinemas on the crest of a tidal wave of hype and expectation, Ron Howard's film is, inevitably, a disappointment. Screenwriter Akiva Goldsman remains faithful to the source novel but it's evident from the outset that the page is a far more forgiving medium than the screen for Brown's clumsy dialogue and gargantuan leaps of logic. The twists and turns of the serpentine plot, which seem only faintly ridiculous in the privacy of our imagination, seem so much more laughable in a darkened auditorium.

Howard relies on director of photography Salvatore Totino to conjure a mood of grim foreboding in the spooky opening sequence in the Louvre, and the horrific scenes of monk Silas self-flagellating, his skin oozing blood with every brutal stroke. Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou gel nicely but fail to make much impact their characters are slaves to the mechanics of the plot so the film relies on the supporting cast.

Sir Ian McKellen delivers a boisterous turn as historian Sir Leigh Teabing, striking the right note between camp and eccentric. Paul Bettany (pictured) is impressive too, portraying Silas as a more tragic and sympathetic figure than the cold-hearted killer of the book, although his accent lends a ring of unintentional comedy to some of the dialogue.

As with the book, the film gets under way with Harvard professor Robert Langdon (Hanks) being summoned to the Louvre in Paris where the elderly curator, Jacques Sauniere (Jean-Pierre Marielle), has been slain. The dead man's final act is a baffling riddle written in invisible ink. Working alongside Sauniere's granddaughter, cryptologist Sophie Neveu (Tautou), Robert begins to solve the devilish conundrum and realises that the secret lies in the work of Leonardo Da Vinci.

It also becomes apparent that the French police, led by Captain Bezu Fache (Jean Reno) and Lieutenant Jerome Collet (Etienne Chicot), are convinced the professor is their murderer. Escaping from the Louvre with Sophie, Langdon tracks down aristocrat Sir Leigh Teabing (McKellen) to help break the code. Meanwhile, a shadowy figure known as The Teacher entreats Bishop Aringarosa (Alfred Molina) and his protege, masochistic albino assassin Silas to stop Langdon at all costs.

Screenwriter Goldsman pares down the intellectual gymnastics of the book, omitting extraneous characters and diversions. The couple's escape from the Louvre in Sophie's Smart car is elevated to a frenetic action sequence reminiscent of The Bourne Identity, and there are noticeable changes to the denouement.

Goldsman saturates the film with flashbacks Sophie and Robert's childhoods, Emperor Constantine's death, Sir Isaac Newton's funeral elegantly accomplished with computer special effects.

As history lessons go albeit one with wild leaps of imagination and supposition The Da Vinci Code is easily digestible. However, these frequent glimpses of the past drag out the running time to an uncomfortable 148 minutes. Unlike the paintings in the Louvre, Howard's film is no masterpiece.

Waiting turns out to be a rather apt title for Rob McKittrick's filthy-minded comedy set in a busy chain restaurant in the style of TGI Friday. Not just because the characters are mostly waiters, fielding the complaints of the over-demanding patrons, but because if you dare to sample this unpalatable confection, you'll be waiting expectantly for a decent laugh, waiting forlornly for well defined characters, and waiting impatiently for the end credits.

Rarely has 94 minutes seemed to stretch so far, for such meagre scraps of pleasure. Like some of the belligerent customers in the film, you may actually feel like asking for your money back. The comedic talent of Ryan Reynolds fails to spark the film to life; his wildly exaggerated tomfoolery comes across as desperation, a man willing to do anything to milk just one laugh from a lifeless script. His co-stars are squandered in two-dimensional roles and the plot staggers from one unsanitary kitchen exploit to the next, leaving you feeling rather glad you didn't buy that hot dog from the concessions stand.

ShenaniganZ is a low-wage restaurant serving burgers, steaks 'n' fries, and other easily defrosted treats, where the staff try to entertain themselves by playing "The Game", which involves co-workers exposing themselves to each other. The staff scores higher points for more elaborate and physically taxing nude poses.

Shy new employee Mitch (John Francis Daley) learns the ropes from wisecracking server Monty (Ryan Reynolds), whose pretty ex-girlfriend Serena (Anna Faris) also waits tables. When Monty isn't sharing years of wisdom with Mitch, or keeping out of the warpath of manager Dan (David Koechner), he's pursuing his latest potential conquest.

Waiting is puerile and crass, lacking a soupcon of imagination, and inspired apparently by writer-director McKittrick's own experiences working in an eaterie in Orlando, Florida. Chemistry between the cast members is inert, and their expletive-laden banter as limp as one of the wilted lettuce leaves in a ShenaniganZ burger.

In an effort to motivate his staff, Dan borrows the words of American football coach Jimmy Johnson: "The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra." In the case of Waiting, plain ol' ordinary would be a major improvement.