It's tough becoming a paren, writes Anna Melville-James. Amid the cute baby bootees and the visions of becoming a glorious Earth Mother or doting father it's easy to forget the fact that this little purple-faced, squalling bundle is going to turn your life upside-down.

When the first shock, joy and amazement wear off, the new parent, faced with the practicalities of caring for and raising their infant, may find it daunting.

How do you know if you're doing it right, or well? What kind of new experiences can you expect?

How far will pure love take you when you haven't slept in weeks?

And is it normal for your baby to cry at a sound level of 117 decibels - only slightly less than that of a pneumatic drill? (The answer is yes, it is). In a child-rearing world, a long time ago, word of mouth was not an old wives' tale, but a useful way to decode the mysteries of the bundle of new life in your arms.

No-one was expected to know it all, and reassuring support was always at hand. However, popular modern psychology on childrearing would have it that we are now all naturals - born with a gene that tells us exactly what to do and how to do it in the crucial early years.

As many a new mother would tell you - quietly - this is not always the case.

So breathe a sigh of relief for "Baby's First Year", an initiative launched in hospitals nationwide by the NSPCC last week. As part of the society's Full Stop campaign, new mothers will receive a free book, Baby's First Year, with their customary bounty packs of nappies and wet wipes.

The attractive hardback book, bound with a gold ribbon, is designed to provide support for parents from the start of their relationship with their baby.

As well as advice on coping with a newborn, it also aims to help parents understand what babies need in the first year of their lives and what they are capable of as they grow older.

It encourages them to chat, cuddle and play gently with their babies and watch how they respond.

For the unwitting parent it also contains advice on ways to reduce the stresses and pressures of new parenthood that can lead some to harm their children - intentionally or otherwise. NSPCC director Jim Harding believes that Baby's First Year is an important foundation stone, both for the wellbeing of the child and the parent.

He says: "New parents, if they are anything like I was, are naturally nervous about the challenges ahead and want to do the best for their baby. Baby's First Year encourages parents to treat all babies with love and tenderness and prevent things from going wrong."

The average baby manual, ever vunerable to the latest trend or child-rearing approach, may look good on the bookshelf, but can lack the basic, no-nonsense voice of practical wisdom for a bewildered mother or father. The value of Baby's First Year as a non-judgmental publication designed to inform rather than dictate is immense. Top tips include using positive, loving words from the earliest age, making sure you get enough sleep, maintaining a sense of humour and finding peaceful time to relax alone with your baby.

Dads should muck in and help right from the start. Research shows that fathers who get involved from birth have the best possible relationships with their babies. In turn, children will reap long-term benefits from sustained contact.

Three years ago, the report of the national commission of inquiry into the prevention of child abuse found that most child cruelty could be prevented, providing the will exists to do so. This initiative adds knowlege to will, and as such, there is perhaps no better place to start than at the beginning, by providing a solid and positive base for the parent/child experience.

Tracy Cadman, the NSPCC's communication manager for the Home Counties, which include Oxfordshire, says: "Rather than being an organisation that clears up after abuse - intentional or not - we are working on preventative measures to allow children a good start in life.

"Starting off on the right track during the first year of a baby's life will pay dividends throughout childhood."

Story date: Tuesday 01 February

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.