A PERSONAL VIEW

By George Frew So Denis The Menace is back at the Manor. Ho hum. The phrases 'manager of Oxford United' and 'thankless task' go together like 'Robert Maxwell' and 'Pension Funds'.

Let's face it, Denis Smith has the footballing equivalent on his hands of raising the Titanic. Single-handed. The bread and butter reality of looking after a club of the dimensions of the U's is a million light-years away from the Fergusons and Manchester Uniteds (plc) of this world.

Comparing the two is like comparing Beluga caviar at the Savoy to a bacon butty at Sid's caff.

Denis is no friend of the media but he's no fool either. He has obviously taken a long, hard look at the situation at the Manor and come to the decision that he can make things better.

If only. One thing he will bring to the job is tactical awareness, a quality you might be forgiven for thinking is something of a necessity among football managers. It ain't necessarily so, though. Consider the current incumbent of the England job. Pitting Mr Keegan against the Italians, Germans and Brazilians of this world is as patently unfair as putting Captain Mainwairing of Dad's Army against Rommel.

So Denis has at least a modicum of rat-like cunning on his side. And an undoubted knowledge of the game to boot. Sadly, what's missing is geography. Denis hails from the Midlands. Statistically, if he'd been born on the other side of the border, the long-suffering fans with the yellow scarves might indeed have cause for optimism.

This is not an opinion, you understand - it is a fact. Consider the great ones: Shankly, Stein, Busby, Dalglish, Ferguson, Graham - all winners, and all Jocks. In the case of the first three, they were more than winners - they were the founders of empires of glory which endure to this day. And part of the problem of being a football manager is that everyone who ever passed through a turnstile (and many who never have or will) are convinced that they can do the job better than you can. So if I was a Scottish Denis Smith, I'd be thankful that I had a shrewd eye and the ability to wheel and deal, because when all the talk is of millions to spend but the reality is watching the pennies, then a talent for sussing out players from Sunday park football is paramount.

The ability to motivate is vital, too - Jock Stein used to wind Jimmy Johnstone up something horrible by reminding him that if Celtic failed to triumph in home European ties, then he'd have to face the prospect of flying out to the return. Johnstone, who was as frightened of flying as that other Dennis, Bergkamp, invariably played a stormer at Parkhead and made sure his services were not required for the second leg. Shankly used to rubbish a Manchester Utd team that included the likes of Best, Law and Charlton just to get Liverpool at it. Usually, it worked.

Professional footballers are essentially children. They like to be taken by the hand and told that they're good boys. They sulk when you tell them off. Denis Smith is a known quantity around the Manor and it is doubtful if he will be in the business of taking any prisoners.

In this respect, he will again be taking a leaf out of the Great Ones' book - discipline comes from above. You didn't mess with the likes of Shankly, Stein or Busby.

It would have been like cocking a snook at the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

Denis Smith says he's glad to be back. This may well turn out to be as wildly an optimistic statement as Malcolm Shotton's "Dream Job" remarks which prefaced a nightmare.

But in any case, it's Den, Again and you never know.

Maybe he's got a Scottish granny...

Story date: Friday 04 February

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